World Cricket Crisis......NOT!

World Cricket Crisis......NOT!
January 23, 2014 at 1:16pm
N. Srinivasan: hello ICC, why have you taken a leak!
ICC Office: g’day mate! We take leaks after coffee and a few lagers..
N.S: no you idiot! Why have you been leaking awl of our auspicious documents?
ICC: dunno what you gagging on about, all of our docos are dry, it’s always a scorcher out here in the bloody Dubai desert.
N.S: now you listen to me! I am a wery impotent man! I can have you fired! Tell me who is leaking the plans to take over the world …of cricket.
ICC: it the lads in the Shaky isles
N.S: Shaky isles, we do not have member called shaky isles you idiot!
ICC: don’t get shirty Siri old boy, it’s the sheep shaggers, yah kno, the New Zealanders
N.S: well what a cowincidence , only this morning they knocked us off the top of the world rankings, I am sensing they are plotting against us! Why they are even wearing black clothes like Rawan , they must be worshipping the devils.
ICC: now hold on a minute Siri, no need to get nicked of because some ningnong leaked a few plans.
N.S: if you think we are paying off cricket Australia’s 30 million dollar debt for jollies, you must be thinking again! Do something, do you not have an army of bushwankers to send and silence those lambs.
ICC: will get on it after my morning Sammie.
N.S: goodbye. (hangs up phone) he is sounding a few sandwiches short of a party, I must put secret agent Sundar on the case.

N.Shello ! Sundar!
Sundar: hello Srinivasan, it is I Sundar.
N.S: Shut up and listen Sundar, why are the sheepwankers against us?
S. : ??????????? Who is this?
N.S: It is me “The brain” let us use our code names, never know who’s watching
Sundar: ok, its me “Pinky”
N.S: now listen Pinky…, we have a crisis in our plan to take over the world ..of cricket, the new Zealanders have leaked all over our documents
Sundar: can we dry em off, brain?
N.S: they are spreading the plans as fast as pictures of anacondas eating women on facebook
Sundar: I am seeing what you are saying, we will crush these minnows, we will introduce new measures to regain world number 1 position.
N.S: How are we going to do that?
Sundar: we will call it “New Rules”
N.S: ok, I am wery excited, tell me of dis “New rules”
Sundar: New Rule 1. If your country does not begin with an “I” you can never be ranked number 1, because I and 1 look so alike.
N.S: Thank the heavens above I saved you from becoming a rent boy in Calcutta!
Sundar: New Rule 2. India alone will have veto power
N.S: ah..we already have that, its called TV money bhai…
Sundar: New Rule2. All animals are created equal, but some are more equal than others.
N.S: that might be an old rule… let us ponder on more rule, maybe we could set up a committee , put a Ghandi on it, who doesn’t likea good Ghandi…