Guysnooze New Alert 11-10-2014

Guysnooze New Alert 11-10-2014
November 10, 2014 at 3:57pm
Guysnooze New Alert 11-10-2014
Well it has been a busy week for us here at Guysnooze, so many phone calls interrupting naptime, so much important news , did you know that Olivia Pope has given Fitz new hope, Scandal! Shonda ya killing mih!

PR war erupts as Cricketman tackles the “Sacred Cow” Tagman over his representation of dubious client.
GSZ: so Cricketman, what you are saying is that PR is not an abbreviation for “prostitute” ?
CM: Preposterous!
GSZ: but there’s no ‘R” in dat…
CM: bai, the very idea that someone could pay you to distort the truth of a situation and… (GSZ phone rings causing interruption)
GSZ: hello? Ok, sorry, ahm, cricketman, dat was the Bar Association, they said to say to and I quote” Kerry yuh skunt” “all ah we is whores” and dat you would understand….
CM: leh me call you back , Bravo calling with a new press release on behalf of the board, Talk to you soon mate!
GSZ: hey tagman, what do you have to say about Cricketman’s missive on ethics and morality in PR?
TG: What they do in Puerto Rico is none of my business, but I can tell you it’s a sad day when a man is attacked for doing his job, in PR we say “if you got the money, we got the honey” and “me love you long time” when the check clears .

Breaking News! AFC issues statement on Parliament Prorogation!
We the Parliamentary representatives of the AFC would like to ask the President to clarify if we will be paid during this Prorogation period, if the answer is yes, we will abide by his wise decision, if no, well is hell to pay!
…………………………………….
Alliance for Cheese

APNU Issues statement on Presidential Prorogation of Parliament (PPP)
This is the darkest day in Guyana’s History, it makes all that ballot box stuffing look like small potatoes, in fact even the murder of Fr. Darke has been eclipsed, we would go so far as to say Our Sainted Founder Leader must be spinning in his grave like a cheap fan from Keyshars, the very idea of using the constitution he crafted carefully to be a bible of democracy to impose this dictatorship upon our Nation, and as the Rodney Commission has clearly exonerated our PNC brethren of any wrongdoing in the death of our WPA brethrens former leader, we will now remove that as a “dark day” in Guyana’s history, we will in fact be celebrating that fateful day as People’s National Communications day in honor of the work Cde. Rodney was pioneering in the use of Walkie talkies to explosive effect.

RUM Party statement on recent events
(Hic)… we will issue a statement on this as soon as the “because we share” money done, barman show dese nice media people to the door, yuh know dey doan buy no rounds and always nyaming the cutters like condemned men last meal.

Minister of Sport makes important announcement
I would like to announce my candidacy for President …of the Plastic Chair Hurdling Association, questions?
GSZ: Will this affect Plastic Wheelchair production?

Guysnooze gets reactions from people in the street and various local celebrities
GSZ: Thin Slice, wha yuh think about this parliament business?
TS: eh! Eh! Is wha going on deh, we at the cathedral business are so affected by the goings on, the “because we gay” money was such a boost to the business, for 10G you get a slice for sure (winks)us girls are sore from all of the work but we cannot wait for the next round…

GSZ: Minister of Flower Shirts, can you tell us what this prorogation means for you?
MFS: It will affect the Pro Duck for sure
GSZ: Kings pull out? Dat Duck curry competition is one of the highlights of my life, this is indeed the darkest day in our Nation’s history.

GSZ: Former Commissioner Rolex, what do you think about Prorogation?
FCR: it encourages criminality; do you know how many people were making moonshine and smuggling whiskey during Prorogation in the United States?

Guysnooze stopped at a protest in front of Knews Building, as we pull up, the lone protestor is joined by Freddy who aggressively snatches the placard and starts shouting various slogans

GSZ: Mr. Protestor, can you tell us what this protest is about?
Mr. P: I am protesting Mr freddy’s article in which he said my uncle is a nazi.
GSZ: so how come he helping you to protest?
Mr. P: I think he is a protest junkie, Bencock been here earlier, spen five minutes tek 50 pictures and gone like the wind.
GSZ: Freddy…(interrupted)
Freddy: you, you are a representative of the Oligarchs , you write for a billionaire , I am just a poor member of the proletariat , why are you picking on me, did Mr.Zukerberg send you?
GSZ: Why yes, Mark Zuckerberg knows you exist and by posting on Facebook I work for him, brilliant! I bow to your superior intellect; in fact Mr. Zuckerberg says he would pay to see you and Tony Viera debate any subject under the sun just for the sheer comedy of logical leaps you are both prone to make.

* Spelling Prorogation is a pain in the ass