December 3, 2014 at 7:52am
New Session of 10th Parliament
Guyana was buzzing with the news that the President had ended Prohibition and the 10th parliament would begin a new session on December 11th, Guysnooze reporters were urged to leave the long windy RUM sessions and garner the response of the people and political creatures to this welcome news.
GSZ: Rastaman, parliament is back in session, will you share your thoughts?
RM: The Lion nah concern himself with the chatter of likkle monkeys in the branches above, I man want dem legalize weed suh lang now n’ nat one word to blood… fire!
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GSZ: lady, can you tell us what having the parliament back means to you?
Lady: yes, it means I can stop protesting and go deliver this chile…He kicking like crazy…
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GSZ: Freddy, how yuh feel now dat Parliament back?
Freddy: It does nothing to detract from the worst county in the world, next week I will reveal the name of my cousin who put salt in Burnham’s tea in 1963, that information has been a closely guarded secret in my family, but no more, next week it will bring the earth to a standstill!
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GSZ: Benkok, wha the man sayin’ ‘bout the parliament an’ ting?
Benkok: It’s just another picket venue, of course it is next to Demico so supporters could run a “Chicken in the Rough” when yuh bai get hungry, and people going about dey regular business in the background can be made to look like protestors for my Facebook page, the donors like to see crowds...
GSZ: and the current protest, what is it about?
Benkok: against People Pawning Property
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GSZ:GeeCom Chariman, are you happy to see parliament back in session and no elections called?
GC: well, there is talk of making the current constitution invalid and reverting to the pre-1980 version, in that case Arthur Chung would be President and we know where to find him!
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As various MP’s begin arriving, we try to get their thoughts…
GSZ: Ghetto Barbie, could you..,(interrupted)
GB: Oh No you Didn’t! uh uh , nat me you talking to!
GSZ: ah mean Minister Wes… (interrupted)
GB: Driver, Drive! Run over he fat skunt if you have to!
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GSZ: Minister Bent, good to be back in session?
MB: How long you stand up here? You have permission to run a business here? You are obstructing the pavement! (Takes hammer out of briefcase and breaks our umbrella)
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GSZ: Short Knee, are you happy to be back?
SK: of course, now we can deal with the FATCAT F and other URGENT business.
GSZ: what URGENT business?
SK: Christmas Bonuses for hard working MP’s
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GSZ: Commissioner Rolex, wha time yuh gat deh? Time for Parliament eh? ha ha , care to share your feelings?
CR: wel I have been feeling a little down lately, I know my father loved my siblings more than me and….(sniffs) and sometimes I feel like I was adopted… (crying into handkerchief)…
GSZ: ahm…I was asking about your feelings about being back at work, yuh know… Parliament!
CR: you have no heart! JUST LIKE MY FATHER! (stalks off)
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Guysnooze realizes that these MP's like the fancy titles and are not happy with "street names" , having spotted "Ghetto Rookmin" we addressed her by her official title.
GSZ: Minister Feral Blaster, are you happy to be back?
FB: Yes Jackass! i going and share because we care to old people now!
GSZ: folks at the Palms?
FB; nah, Plamscourt, yuh think i doan know you does brace up the bar in yuh fancy white shoe?
GSZ: me love you long time, you is the bess Ministah dem gat!
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GSZ: Clerk Holmes, good to be back at work?
SH: Sir, I never left, despite my means of transport being the subject of repossession, I always come to work.
GSZ: could you tell us about that?
SH: Well it is not all glitz and glamour, it includes mundane tasks , for example, even though the Speaker is always saying he is busy getting his mace polished, I always have to get it cleaned.
GSZ: yuh sure he ent seh, he getting he knob shine?
SH: same thing, now I have order papers to prepare.
GSZ: and the first order of business is?
SH: well MP’s want to go into Christmas recess, most of them claim that December is the RUM party month and the influence would disrupt the serious work of parliament.
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GSZ: Comrade Greenish, is it true that the MP’s have asked to go into Christmas recess?
Cde.Greenish: well, some of them have indicated this, I have told Comrade Greenshirt that I would be willing to Lead the Opposition while he takes a holiday.
GSZ: and his response?
Cde. Greenish: Unmentionable and quite unbecoming of the Leader.
*(GSZ Tweets) MP like it mean Mad People #inthisbelieve
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