I ain’t no Ducking Dictator!

I ain’t no Ducking Dictator!
November 18, 2014 at 1:17pm
I ain’t no Ducking Dictator!

Guysnooze was able to obtain secretly recorded audio of a recent cabinet meeting, the device used was a pen/recorder loaned to by Lil Johnny (the boss seh he buying some for we soon) and we present an unedited transcript for your perusal or you could just read it.

CSec: Thank you all for coming today, as you know we have on the agenda many critical matters that require cohesive, collective and individual thought to….(interrupted)

Presi: Look, dat will have to wait, forget the agenda today, I am mad like hell, ya’ll see how dem opposition people making fun of me and calling me names, that one Rupert had the gall to stan’ up next to the only man to refuse to testify at the Rodney Commission and call ME a dictator! The whole country full ah people like an Ambulance, wah smooth road, wah light, wah wata! wah wah wah, ...Well if is Dictator they wah is Dictator they gun get! , I gun show dem who is boss!

CSec: to be pellucid, you want to perform a symbolic act of dictatorship of some magnitude?

Presi: for once I understand you, yes, ah want to do some big dictatorey thing, I open to suggestions

Aneel: Fire somebody!

Presi: right now is you ah want fire, nex’ ting yuh running yuh mouth to Gidarie….oh sorry,... yuh done do dat!,….. I could fire somebody without being a dictator, no it got to be big and have impact!

Jenny: Close down Guysuco, show dem who’s boss Daddy!

Presi: How she get in hey? Yuh is an ass? Guysuco is we own, ah thinking Aneel might be on to something(gives Jenny a hard look)… Sam you got any ideas?

Sam: Ideas, yes, I have some ideas, indeed, ideas, ideas…hmm, let me think for a few minutes and get back to you…

CSec: Flank, you look like yuh want to say something, put up yuh hand nex’ time…

Flank: how ‘bout we do a “Rodney” and give Rueful johansen a “Walkie Talkie” fuh he birthday or Christmas?

Presi: How dare you suggest such a thing! (cabinet in an uproar)

Flank: I keed, I Keed , I joke, I joke , haha (mutters to himself…pussies)

Presi: look, before this get out of hand, I want a respect as a dictator but I ent wan become Coal Pot!

RobbyP (Iknows): how about we ban something the people like?

Presi: yes, yes, like how Flour an’ sardine get short and we had to eat balange choka with rice

CSec: well it din really ban, it was imported in a small quantity or quota

Presi: yes, enough was imported for Burnham house and the rest of we had to depend on crabwood creek.I like this ban idea, leh we brainstorm on it…

Goatman: I know, leh we ban green shirts….

Infant Oliy: once yuh ent banning ‘flower shirt” go ahead, I just get mih new “tourist minister” wardrobe, flower shirt galore…

Presi: nah, dat too petty, I want people to call me something like “Kabaka” not Donald Duck like these schoolchildren doing…

Hammerman: I know, I know, you could ride around Georgetown on a big white horse and have the security guys run behind you on foot…

Presi: ah din say ah want to become the Kabaka you idiot! And plus I would look like a perfect jackass!

Flank: How about if we imprison Rueful in a dark dungeon with no internet or delicious cheese pies, one full of cockroack and sand flies, chikingunya mosquitoes…(interrupted)

Presi: I know you joking again, leh we be serious…

Flank: mutters (joke mih rass)

CR-B: How about if we declare war on Suriname? A show of force and might

Presi: fus, the GDF would run like hell when them Juka appear, an’ like yuh don’t understand the concept of “dictatorism” …it’s to oppress your own people, now ah say it out loud, I don’t think I can do this, I not really the “oppressing” type…

Goatman: I see with you there Donald, but one last suggestion, how about if we gather up the opposition parliament members and our own parliamentarians and lock them in a large room , like ahm Parliament Building and not let them out until we agree on a plan to develop this county together peacefully .

Presi: I like this idea, show dem who’s boss, Dictator Style! force dem to do the work they being paid to do! Lunchman! start the ball rolling...

Flank: (low voice) “they call he Donald Duck? They should call he Mickey Mouse! A total failure as a Dictator, ……….one day Rueful, one day…..

* It really is hard to be a Dictator these days.
* PNC Leader Granger hinted at Exile for former President Jagdeo todayhttp://www.stabroeknews.com/2014/news/stories/11/18/national-unity-govt-include-persons-guilty-wrongdoing-granger/ So Dictatorship may not be as dead as we at Guysnooze think.