Death of a Reporter
Death of a Reporter
A sad day at Guysnooze, one of our reporters died while on assignment, sent to cover the Guy Now Conning Political Persons summit meeting conference, our intrepid hero unfortunately did the unthinkable and listened to Cde. Mozart and died laughing, yes, we too thought it was just an expression, imagine our surprise to find out that you can laugh until you bust a gut and die, we urge all readers of the following report to exercise caution and to stop for pee breaks if needed or instead of Mozart's Symphonies, it will be Chopin’s funeral march for you.
We were able to piece together the day’s tragic events by debriefing our cameraman who accompanied our fallen comrade, here is the unedited transcript.
GSZ: wha’ happen, how the man dead, man?
CM: the day start bad boss, when we arrive, Cde. Mozart was greeting people and calling dem all kinda names, he call Vashnie Mrs. Jaygdeeoh , then he call Ruel, Muriel, he call Julia Julet and then he call Enrico, Onrico, that mek we boy piss he pants lil bit, every time the man twist up he mouth, we bai, squirming to hold in laff.
GSZ: but duh is everyday story, sheer combackee in the place fuh Christmas, he should handle it better...
CM: yeah but that was only the start, de man start by saying he was anointed successor to Hoyte and he get out of politics cause the people of region 12 fight he down, how he is a lawyer , Doctor and part time shoemaker and carpenter just like Jaysus, well dat get the crowd going , one old lady shout Hallelujah and den faint away, like is habit with she when she hear ‘bout Jaysus.
GSZ: sound like a regular day in GT, cayn see the man dead from duh
CM: bass, it get wussurus, the man say Presi does come by he house drink tea and ask advice, and how he set up a parallel organization to mirror all the ministries and departments, so if Infant Oliy want advice, he got a man doing dat, if Chatree loss he law book , a man deh fuh tell he wha to do, and so on an so forth, well it is at this point Onrico suck he teth and lef the place, Julet put on she sun hat fuh hideshe laffin’ , but wedid jus’ start, we then went inside.
GSZ: inside the conference center?
CM: nah, inside the cultural center,…of course the conference center, yuh gun leh me tell the story , or yuh gun keep interrupting?
GSZ: nah man talk ( when this skunt done talk ah gun chatree he backside with a toolsie, yuh would think I wukking with he)
CM: well we go inside and nuff talking going on, ol’ man Ram say , Guyanese is sheep, some lady say” like you is a goat”, Ramas then tell the lady she like sour fox who can’t get the sweet grapes, how he put the “Ram” in “Ramgoat” , she say yuh sure yuh ent put the “Soff” in “Soffka…. (Mozart interrupt she and call things to order, by then we bai sit down and holding he side and gasping fuh air, ah should know something was wrang, so the man start talking ‘ bout how he have this large organization but only he could come today, the rest busy and how he got 500 million to spend to ensure that Guyanese civil society do something, not really clear what was going to be done, by whom, to what, it got very unclear,and that there would be a collection during the conference so that everyone feels part of the process, but that is when the thing happen...
GSZ: wha’ happen?
CM: well Muriel Johnson say how the man making good sense……well dat was the last straw!, we bai laff suh hard, he drap down dead, in fact he ketch back he self three times on the way to public and laff he self back to death.
*Folks , NOT EVERY TININ' CUP KNOCK is a party...
A sad day at Guysnooze, one of our reporters died while on assignment, sent to cover the Guy Now Conning Political Persons summit meeting conference, our intrepid hero unfortunately did the unthinkable and listened to Cde. Mozart and died laughing, yes, we too thought it was just an expression, imagine our surprise to find out that you can laugh until you bust a gut and die, we urge all readers of the following report to exercise caution and to stop for pee breaks if needed or instead of Mozart's Symphonies, it will be Chopin’s funeral march for you.
We were able to piece together the day’s tragic events by debriefing our cameraman who accompanied our fallen comrade, here is the unedited transcript.
GSZ: wha’ happen, how the man dead, man?
CM: the day start bad boss, when we arrive, Cde. Mozart was greeting people and calling dem all kinda names, he call Vashnie Mrs. Jaygdeeoh , then he call Ruel, Muriel, he call Julia Julet and then he call Enrico, Onrico, that mek we boy piss he pants lil bit, every time the man twist up he mouth, we bai, squirming to hold in laff.
GSZ: but duh is everyday story, sheer combackee in the place fuh Christmas, he should handle it better...
CM: yeah but that was only the start, de man start by saying he was anointed successor to Hoyte and he get out of politics cause the people of region 12 fight he down, how he is a lawyer , Doctor and part time shoemaker and carpenter just like Jaysus, well dat get the crowd going , one old lady shout Hallelujah and den faint away, like is habit with she when she hear ‘bout Jaysus.
GSZ: sound like a regular day in GT, cayn see the man dead from duh
CM: bass, it get wussurus, the man say Presi does come by he house drink tea and ask advice, and how he set up a parallel organization to mirror all the ministries and departments, so if Infant Oliy want advice, he got a man doing dat, if Chatree loss he law book , a man deh fuh tell he wha to do, and so on an so forth, well it is at this point Onrico suck he teth and lef the place, Julet put on she sun hat fuh hideshe laffin’ , but wedid jus’ start, we then went inside.
GSZ: inside the conference center?
CM: nah, inside the cultural center,…of course the conference center, yuh gun leh me tell the story , or yuh gun keep interrupting?
GSZ: nah man talk ( when this skunt done talk ah gun chatree he backside with a toolsie, yuh would think I wukking with he)
CM: well we go inside and nuff talking going on, ol’ man Ram say , Guyanese is sheep, some lady say” like you is a goat”, Ramas then tell the lady she like sour fox who can’t get the sweet grapes, how he put the “Ram” in “Ramgoat” , she say yuh sure yuh ent put the “Soff” in “Soffka…. (Mozart interrupt she and call things to order, by then we bai sit down and holding he side and gasping fuh air, ah should know something was wrang, so the man start talking ‘ bout how he have this large organization but only he could come today, the rest busy and how he got 500 million to spend to ensure that Guyanese civil society do something, not really clear what was going to be done, by whom, to what, it got very unclear,and that there would be a collection during the conference so that everyone feels part of the process, but that is when the thing happen...
GSZ: wha’ happen?
CM: well Muriel Johnson say how the man making good sense……well dat was the last straw!, we bai laff suh hard, he drap down dead, in fact he ketch back he self three times on the way to public and laff he self back to death.
*Folks , NOT EVERY TININ' CUP KNOCK is a party...
No comments:
Post a Comment