Report to COP on the Marudi incident

Report to COP on the Marudi incident
March 5, 2013 at 12:05am
Contents
1. Interview of nephew of some big shot in GT (recipient of a few lashes)
2. Interview with Lance Corporal
3. A few choice comments from Facebook to gauge public opinion
4. Conclusions
5. Recommendations 

Interview 1
Q. State you name please?
A. Cousin Big shot nephew
Q. What were you doing on the road?
A. Protesting peacefully and auditioning for GTT jungle jingle competition
Q. Did the officer ask you to clear the road?
A. He said to “get off the fucking road”
Q. So why yuh din’ get aff the fucking road? Yuh fucking ears hard!
Interview terminated as interviewing officer had to be restrained from beating the suspect subject further; a few hard slaps were administered before we were able to intervene. The Officer has been transferred to Region 10 as punishment (for Region 10?).
Interview 2
Q. State you name
A. "I am Corporal (Brown) deh call me Boy Blue I come here to look fuh gold I beat up de gyal till till she black and blue
Officers - Poi! Poi! Yuh is a boss! (much laughter and interview suspended)
Q. Now be serious Corporal, can you state clearly why you decided to cut a branch from a tree and share lashes like Freddo at Bourda!
A. well sor, is only natural, I see they tekkin video , suh ah couldn’t shoot dem, Hicken phone did busy, so ah seh to mihself, use your initiative, its why I mek officer after only 12 years on the force.
Q. Get to the point man!
A. Well sor, I is a Corporal , so I pick a whip and gave them “corporal punishment” ah had dem dancing ‘gangham style”.
Interview suspended again to allow interviewing Officer to regain composure.
Thank you Corporal , I commend your use of restraint in the face of such lawlessness and I have written Hicken’s “special” line number here for you.

Facebook Comments
Negative
Blah blah, ropey pokey, outrage, yuh mudder skunt (not your mother, sir) share this video, your mother is a whore (your mother, Sir, mine is a churchgoer), fucking GPL (reoccurs every eight hours) fuck the police, goons, linden murders etc. etc.
Positive
Quite a few S& M freaks seemed to be turned on as they offered to have sex with the officer, given a chance, they would, in their words ” fuck him up, proper”

Conclusions
Nobody ent dead, is only “buck people” , the uncle the boy was hollering for is a nobody. If all else fails the Guyana Police Service can claim that the stick used to beat the people was not issued by us and we are not responsible for whom it lash. (Well, it worked for the Linden shootings, didn’t it?)
Recommendations
We import Lathi sticks from India for our next “rumble in the jungle” as they are superior to the hoopabali one cut by the Corporal.