Shawn Blinds Exclusive (almost)

Shawn Blinds Exclusive (almost)

The Guysnooze News Agency blew it big time, we had the scoop and let it slip through our fingers, well here is how it went….

Reporter: Chief , somebody at the front desk, he seh he will only talk to you.

GSZ: wha he name and wha he want, axe nuh….

Reporter; Chief, he seh he name Shawn Blinds and he want to talk about clearing he name…

GSZ: Is Sam son?... He ent gon done wid this domestic violence? Look me ent got time fuh no man who does hit woman, nat even if he is Obama son.

Reporter:  Chief, Obama only gat daughter…

GSZ:  whaeva, sen’ he way , tell he I indisposed..

Reporter: Chief , he say he is the Hitman.

GSZ: well why he din seh suh? ….Rum till I die is mih name and nature, send the banna in, send fuh the photographer and leh Sandra bring in some pholourie quick quick …

Reporter: ahm..Chief, is nah….

GSZ:  You still stan’ up deh, run along, send the Hitman in, I is a big fan…

SB: Afternoon Chief

GSZ: you ent look nothing like yuh video... show business eh!

SB: Video? They got video, oh gawd, is not me kill the man, is other people….

GSZ: …. I guess we better start over, you is not the singer of Rum till I die, are you?

SB: no I is a real hitman, but I decide to sing, to clear my conscience and my good name.

GSZ: ok, so you is the bad john who does guard Soobs?

SB: yes, dat is I, in fact I uses a toy to do the guarding?

GSZ: a toy gun?

SB: no man! A sex toy, if anybody play round I would use it to fuck dem up proper..no lube!

GSZ: (getting jittery) oh, ahmm, I see, so why exactly are you here?

SB: well I see a car with plenty time by mih house an’...

GSZ: look….I doan even drive no cyar an’ I doan know where you live, I never even meet yuh wife…

SB: easy chief, I ent come here to use no toy pun you, doan look so jittery jittery, I suspeck the car had other hitmen out to hit me, so I run by freedom house fuh dem to save me, but a man deh did getting jittery jittery ..jus’ like you..heh heh…

GSZ: So ya’ll hitmen don’t have an association or something to keep from bumping off each other? Ah mean …wha’ happen to honor among thieves?

SB: look I used to work wid the police in a dead squad…

GSZ: well, we can’t all be in the exciting squads….sometimes we got to be in the horse platoon or the dog catchers van..is the job, follow orders an’ ting…

SB: man Snoozy..I tell you I was wid a dead squad, we used to hunt criminals and lef dem dead.

GSZ: oh…. Well dat sounds interesting, so you kill anybody?

SB: I can’t talk about that, but I could tell you that I observed other members of my dead squad  killing people…for example dat fucking one (bleep Bleep) tek a gun an’ shoot up (bleep bleep) and dat odder one (bleep) shoot (bleep) in he fucking head…

GSZ: So why are you talking to me?.... Shouldn't you be at CID or somewhere requesting a deal as a state witness or something?

SB: well the problem is dem bais at CID was in the dead squad too, in fact is dem who do all the killing I was just there to observe, but I is not a snitch or whistleblower…

GSZ: so wha’ yuh call dis?

SB: I throwing shade! ….Ah mean we is two big men shooting the breeze, I could say any skunt I want, evidence and proof is another thing, but I gots evidence, Lots of evidence.

GSZ: well I like shooting the breeze like anybody else, but without the evidence is like a soup without dumplin’…yuh understand, I suggest you get a lawyer and work some kinda deal , information and evidence for amnesty and witness protection.

SB: big man , you is a waste, I going by Travis Chase.

Reporter: Chief, wah’ we gon do wid dis?

GSZ: Leh we keep in we corner and watch the sex toy action, nuff people gonna get fucked…

Reporter: I was talking about the pholourie chief, everbady dun know dem old story Blindsy tellin’.

*Editor’s Note .This is how we lost out on the biggest exclusive that walked in the door... my bad.