The Good Life: Part 7 (in case you missed it)

The Good Life: Part 7 (in case you missed it)

My Fellow Guyanese,

I come to this august body in October to share with you the progress made in the quest for the Good Life for all Guyanese, I am delighted to report that we have achieved this, today your life is as good as it’s going to get under our glorious administration, we have managed to halt the economy in its tracks, foreign goods are piling up in stores as you…the consumer, have come to realize that you do not need material things to enjoy the good life, I am so pleased to stand here as your President and tell you that our workers have much more free time in almost every sector, the Bauxite workers no longer work overtime because the Minister refuses to sign an agreement allowing their overtime to be tax exempt, our fruit farmers get more time to enjoy with families, with the Topco bid being turned down, demand for fruit is less, let the workers in Suriname sweat picking fruit, ours can lie in hammocks in the shade and talk with friends who used to work in the Sugar and Rice fields, our quarry workers enjoy the same benefits accrued by way of contracts to Suriname, the weather is cooperating and we expect a well rested workforce to be tanned and healthy for the glorious future as outlined by our glorious founder leader , the wonderful force for Unity, the one, the only Kabaka.

Now, I, as your leader must share my vision of the ‘good life’ … as you know , I spent my life in the army, what a wonderful life, we explored Guyana’s wilderness at the expenses of the taxpayers, days spent swimming, climbing , jumping out of aero-planes, occasionally threatening to chuck someone out of a helicopter, and ..this is important, skinning cock, yes, without real purpose even though we call ourselves protectors of our borders, let’s be realistic, we spend most of our days skinning cock, eating, drinking and cavorting at the taxpayer’s expense. So I urge my fellow Guyanese to get in on the act, let us all follow the example of the pampered Guys Doing Fuckall (GDF) and just lay back without worry, let us all take things in hand and pull together, that way we can come together as One nation, one people, with one destiny!

I see the Opposition has already taken the lead and have gone off to ‘put some oil in their lamp’ instead of coming to work and listening to me wax lyrically about the good life, to them I say, bravo, bravo! , let us all aspire to have salaries without work, a good life indeed, I am happy to be able to share my vision of the good life with you the people who are currently enjoying the good life. I thank you for your time and patience in allowing me to talk about the good life.

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Opposition Rebuttal

Well fursh of all, abby lil drunk, abby bin playin’ wan game, drink wan shot every time grainger seh ‘good life’ … all abby gah fuh seh is good ting abby nah bin deh, abby woulda fall sleep (hic) long live Comrade Cheddie.