51 million Reasons

51 million Reasons

We at Guysnooze were astounded to see the Auditor General show a MoP expenditure of 51 Million for Music, by the way, are there Auditor Colonels? Sergeants, what’s with this General thing, is it not enough that we have Brigadiers without Brigades, cattle farmers who have no farms… anyways… we sought an explanation from the good folks at MoP and can share the interview below.

GZ: thank you for talking to us, to be honest we cannot conceive of spending 51 million on music, could you enlighten us as to how this is possible?

MoP Spokesperson: I can understand how the lay person would react to such expenditure, but I can assure you that the explanation will indeed enlighten your tiny mind, now I am sure you were thinking that ‘music’ meant either the live band of the Police or Defense force or a Sound System such as Slingerz, that certainly could not cost 51 million, no,no,no...the expenses began with the meeting of the committee to decide on the composition of the Jubilee Committee, this was three days after elections, government had not yet transitioned, so rental of a conference room expenses were incurred, and of course cheese roll, pinetart, patties, drinks, had to be procured, we may have gone a teensy bit overboard with the liquor due to the celebratory atmosphere follow our historic victory at the polls, this was before we realized how meager the salary of Ministers were, long story short, we spent two million on meetings to decide on the committee composition, then, we moved to actual  Jubilee Committee meetings, those things were held daily at a significant cost, two-three hundred grand a pop, you follow so far?

GZ: I do believe I see the logic, pinetart, cheese rolls…one cannot argue with that!

MoPS: Committee members , most of whom were destitute  ahm..in need of things, including, cars and drivers, we couldn’t have important people risking their lives in mini-buses to get to meetings , could we? So some 24 million was spent on new cars for these important minions, now only 3 million was allocated as ‘music’ related as that was the cost of the sound systems installed in the new vehicles, so transportation was a significant cost, you see how it is piling up?

GZ: well something is piling up for sure!..but when we getting to the ‘music’ expenses?

MoPS: well, yes, the committee was undecided on what tone the music should set for the celebrations, so further research was suggested.

GZ: youtube and google cost money?

MoPS: well yes and no, we used the google to find exotic relevant events for our committee to observe, they went to Milan to seek inspiration from the performances at Teatro Alla Scala, to England for a visit to the Royal Albert Hall, Gay Paree for Le Hearuxs, Mexico for Mariachi,  to Pamplona,Spain to see the running of the Bulls, you see?

GZ: I see the Bull all right, I am very impressed that we only spent 51 million, it is obvious that this could have cost much more, our readers will be delighted to know that no malfeasance was indulged in by the administration.

MoPS: mal… no, no, the most that happened is some small instances of drunkness and one two fare get pick… no mal nutten.

GZ: as an aside …after all of this ‘research’ how did we end up with ‘Abide With Me’ a British patriotic song at our Independence celebration?

MoPS: oh, somebody search the Google for ‘famous military songs’ and it popped up… Ok, Thanks for coming.

* I got to get on a committee or a Commission of Inquiry into a Committee…