Gang Of Greedy Assholes (GOGA)

Gang Of Greedy Assholes (GOGA)

Well who the fuck died and made dese bannas God? Asked our editor in an ominously sweet tone… the reporters looked at each other nervously…the wrong answer could get you fired and its hard guava season out there, jus’ look at dem binni hemline, it raise so high that you ent got to grab the pussy, if yuh pass too close the pussy grabbin’ you! , so everybody watching the bossman side-eye…never a good idea to watch the beast in he eye, waiting on further explanation… GOGA… you heard of dem, big launching at Marriott? … “oh, the Gang Of Greedy Assholes who want to have a say in Oil when they have no fucking remit? Bass, nobady ent tekking dem serious, is a hustle, ow, leh the bai dem try nah?” said the stocky reporter (used to be the fat one but we trying wid political correctness)… “I thought it Greedy Opportunity Grubbing Assholes” said the new office girl, “well ya’ll got the Asshole part right” said the editor begrudgingly “so many things wrong with this outfit, none of them in Oil or Gas, the one guy that was lost a ton of investor money, and most of them got American Passports, it claims to be an association but is Incorporated… dem really tekking Guyanese fuh fools… but who could blame dem Awhee Can’t Decipher Anything (ACDA) already ask fuh join dem… if it wasn’t so sad it would have been funny” … boys, it might be time fuh we to start we own Gas and Oil  Workers Union, ah mean who say we cyan hustle too? We ent even need workers just convince somebody to fork over lil hush money or as they call it ‘union dues’…”

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Guysnooze also attended the Great Party Friskers (GPF) Seminar on Crime.

Policing 101.

The Phone or 911.

Senior Officer: Class, if the phone rings at the station or at the 911 center, what is the correct response?

Corporal P: You pick it up and say, 911 what is your emergency, Sor!

SO: what the P in your name stand for? Punishment? You like problems nuh… look siddung… anybady else?

Constable J: well, I does leh it ring at least 12 times, because I doan like answer calls from people I doan know, den I does check mih cell and see if is one of mih man ah mean family trying to get me, ah mean if is a real emergency, den I does answer and say ‘who is dis? Wha yuh want?...hole an… den I does pass the phone to the nearest fool fellow officer, who could deal wid John Public, Sor.

SO: J, dat is for Jennyass? Look! When the phone rings , it is the PUBLIC calling for assistance with CRIME, the procedure it to NEVER, NEVER!!! Answer the call, take a break, smoke cigrit, do something with yuh hand, you know why? Because if you ANSWER the phone, we, the senior Officers have to acknowledge the crime report, that goes into monthly statistics, crime will go up,but if we Ignore the call, crime goes down? ..all right ranks, let’s all work to lower the crime rate, tek a break, smoke a cigrit…be back in 30 minutes for The Excuses Exercise, hint... “we have no vehicle” hahahahahaha.

*20% Decrease in Crime my arse!