50 Games of Shade

50 Games of Shade

“I was at Tea-mary and the plane lan’ at Ogle, chief”… our editor was furious at our new sport reporter, after all he had missed the arrival of our two world champion cricketers, “who knows what dem would have said? Dem mighta back up Shammy, tell we windies din gih dem money fuh wash dem laundry, look how Shammy went and wash he own in public” our editor was convinced we could have had a news scoop, “imagine Guysnooze story all ova’ the worl, but no, you skunt ent know we gat two international airport…stueeps” … “iz the Guyana Crooked Board fault, chief, dem ent call me an tell me whe’ the plane lannin”… “shut yuh skunt, yuh feel dem is Tatoo from fantasy island? …Look dee plane , dee plane…skunt? … what else going on in sport? Anything to report or yuh come hey fuh eat the sangwich alone? ”  “well, sor, we got a unique Guyanese sporting event billed for the jubilee, everybody know we invent shade, so the National Shade Commission has announced a big thing called “50 games of Shade” where every day for the next 50 days, we wll see who can throw the most shade, the nastiest shade, the most subtle yet insulting shade etc, dem even got photochap shade an’ ting, look at the list of events boss, even you fat…ahm even you cud enter an’ win prizes an ting”

50 Games of Shade

50. Beat Drum of Racism (Politicians Only)

49. Appointment Rescission Darts (barbs get thrown at appointments, if your name get hit, cyat eat yuh dinner)

48. Sex wid minor family members (Warning!!! Family members only, otherwise it’s a crime)

47. Obfuscation Conferencing (Say nothing by saying everything, Title vacant, Lunchman retired)

46. Nancy Story throw-down  (Freddy gat dis lock)

45. Are you Smarter than Need Kumar? (no vexplanation needed)

44. National Anthem Lip Sync battle (oh say can you see, what fun dis wud be)

43. Harmony Chairs (for cabinet members only, first to say ‘Harmon” to Presi loses his seat)

42. Throw Joe under the Bus (need we say more?)

41. Hide n’ seek in the maternity ward

*Wait ya’ll think yuh wud get the entire list today? Keeping ya’ll in suspend.