Trust Me! ...The Cockman's Refrain

Trust Me! ...The Cockman's Refrain

Trust Me!... The Cockman's Refrain

Yesterday in a Guysnooze “exclusive” we were able to share a transcript of the Cabinet meeting to make the 50% raise of pay a reality, this action caused quite a stir in the Ministry of Manna, of course a meeting was called and a committee established to determine the mistakes made and chart a course forward.

Committee Meeting

Bullcon: folks, we have to have a name for this committee, any suggestions?

Cecil D’Leon: The committee for the justification of enormous remuneration.

Bulcon: excellent! Now to the bizness, our main task is to make the issue “go away”, we can do various justifications and as a back-up plan, have a few distractions lined up, dats the plan.

Patto: we could lef two koker door open, and say the PPP koker men was drunk and asleep!

Bulcon: banna, we ent even do the justification exercise yet!

Patto: Look leh we be honest, they ent got no justification, leh we move to distractify , I could arrange a flood quicker than Noah could put on he buckta!

Hardman: Flood in dry season? …of all the cock-eyed schemes! We would get killed by the bad publicity!

Woofert: well we could send you to APOLOGIZE!

Bullcon: calm yuhselves, let’s work on the excuses..ahm, justifications… I mek a short list …

1. Blame Jagdeo and the PPP , I know, predictable, but it worked before, 2. We say it is part of the Clean up campaign, we supporters like the clean up efforts, in fact is all they gat fuh talk about, not jobs or business creation, so we say we “clean out” the treasury…

Ammnat Drunk: look, leh we tell dem that the  Baby needs new shoes!

Greenish: . Bae also needs new shoes….and new drawsey too, I rip one up wid mih teeth lass nite! 

Trustie: look, leh we keep it simple cauze the people stupid, leh we jus’ tell dem fuh “trust we”

Hardman: heh heh, like how Lil Johnny did "trust you" eh? ...hope yuh doan do the public wha' yuh do he, hahahah....arite, you go tell dem duh, I ent coming, I think most people prickle wid me, I gonna lie low fuh now.

Trustie: wah' I do Lil johnny eh? 

Hardman: fus' yuh mek he gag, then yuh get he gagged! 

Patto: I ent believe the rass I hearing hey, look ya’ll want to play by Marquis de Queensury rules, I seh we play by marquis de Shaftsbury rules , mek up two bogus charge pon jagdeo and all attention will divert, mek some wild claims that the DEA got right to sarch and seize anybody ting, extradite without process an' ting...

Hardman: the DEA could do duh?

Patto: meeno? I thought you would know…

Mustachio: I better check pon duh, me clients dem is depend on me , ah mean mih former clients.

Ammnat Drunk: leh we mek another Venezuela crisis,  do a video with all the ministers singing Not a blade of grass! Give Nartan two drink an’let he loose, dat would do the trick!

Patto: any ideas from the Dumbass Public Informant?

Nagas: If I want ideas or opinions from the DPI , I does give dem to he, understand? the fat skunt think he is "Olivia Pope" he idea of crisis management is to eat eggball and buse pon facebook, he gon only mek ting woserus....

El Presidente: All of you keep calm, as soon as Rotee or Grandalall make a statement , the people will rush to defend us, it's a knee jerk reaction to those jerks....we are going to weather this storm and then we will do as comrade Patto says, Shaftsbury rules!

Bullcrap: Mr. P, we doing our best to keep you out of this, we doan wan' dem callin' you a Coal Pot dictator like He Who Shall Not Be Named.

El Presidente: that reminds me....ah makking Ulady the High Commissioner to England... let it be decreed as such...Joe...fix up.

Knowell: I will ask the farmers to grow more sheeps and goats!

El Presidente: You raise livestock jackass! ....but go ahead, once you mention Goats dat banna in Robb Street will gah fuh respond....


Hardman: All rise , his Excellence is leaving the room.

Bullcrap:well I guess duh is duh...meeting adjourned.

*Editor’s Note: “Trust me!” is a new brand of sex lube or wha' ?