50% Bigger is harder to take…
In the USA dem like fuh seh “bigger is better” but in the
real world most housewives can tell you “Bigger is harder to take” and so it
is, dis pay raise bizness lil hard fuh swallow said one senior un-named source
at the Denied Pay Increase (DPI) office today (they gat more than one person
wukkin deh?)
Now some of you may know that the Guysnooze chief is a
carpenter who often likes to point out that Jesus was also a carpenter, what
some Cuban carpenter has to do with anything in Guyana you ask? Everything! You
see according to the constitution, the real one not the “Humming buh enn Cumming
one” cabinet makes the decisions on
spending, now carpenters make the best cabinets in which to hide listening
devices for the odder kinda Cabinet meeting, we are not sayin’ we did, we not
sayin’ we didn’t …but this recording surfaced ….
CABINET DISCUSSION BEFORE PAY RAISE
El Chapo aka “Weekend President” : Members of the cabinet I
call you here at this late hour to discuss a most important crisis facing our
government …
Min. Rolex: Invasion! Venezuela! ow gawdd! (dives under
table) tell dem venoes ah gon give dem citizenship! Free too!, not like dem
chinee who gat fuh pay fat!
Hon. Mustachio: Comrade, come out from under there, and stop
eating that buns, let the record show that the minister was eating under a two
foot table…
El Chapo: I sure the table higher dan dat!, but getting back
to the crisis, is mih wife, you see she just see how much dem bai getting pay
for Commission of Inquiry and she stark kreckin’ , say we living in poverty
compared to dem COI bais, and I should retire and get a COI wuk instead, suh
battam line is she wan’ build an annex in the house, raise the floor like the
Youyamma Manna, and put new roof an’ ting…
Min Bounty: yes, we
could all do wid an increase…
Min, Hardman: hey you! Yes,you! the quicker picker upper…. is nah lass week we
ketch yuh tekkin 3.2 fuh some land in providence? I warnin’ yuh…nex’ time we
ketch yuh …we gon tek double shares…. Be honest in the future comrade, now
siddung and shut up! (mutters)Great Scot!, some people have the nerve…
Minister who nobody knows: I like this idea very much.
Minister Pattwa: how much we talking?
El Chapo: 10…. 15%?
Ammnot Drunk Ally: it’s
the midnight hour , I want more, more, more, …..you get me outta my bed, I want
mo, mo, mo…
Min. Cecil De Leon: I need to redo my office, some people
complaining…(look at katty darkly) …25%?
Ammnot Drunk Ally: it’s
the midnight hour , I want more, more, more, …
Tourist Minister: well next year is the 50th anniversary
….. so maybe #itistime for a 50% increase..
Ammnot Drunk Ally: it’s
the midnight hour , I want more, more, more, …
Hardman: shet up! Kats yuh right, 50 for 50, I like it…
Tourist Minister: and we could incorporate into the
celebrations next year may, leh we be honest, is nat independence we
celebrating, is we first year in power, so leh we give the “50” in the logo
some real meaning!
Min. Pattaw: I protest! The president said the nation was
jaguars being led by jackasses!, I not in this…
Min. Woofert: bai! Siddung and shut up, yuh ent see we logo
gat a blind jaguar on it…. So it has to be led, better to be a well paid
jackass….
Cecil De Leon: all this F*&ing Jaguar talk, allyuh Kerry
yuh mudder…(interrupted)
Min. of sumtingordeeodder: What about the public? Remember Burnham
did seh “This party started as a working class party and will never give up
fighting for the workers; we will never, and can never, forsake them; the
moment we do, we had better arrange for our political funeral”….
Min. Woofert: banna,
ress yuhself…we ent bringing back Burnham!, by the way, ah hear we bringing
back hammie tho, ah hear he is head of housin’ plannin’ sumting?
Hardman: yeah, he
gah fuh decide whe’ fuh put the “no dumping” signs, because dat is whe’ people
gon dump everything… plus he gon push recycling, he heself recycled plenty time…
El Chapo: ok, ok, so we going with the 50 for 50? Ok, good,
any other bizness…
Ammnot Drunk Ally: it’s
the midnight hour , I want more, more, more, …
El Chapo: somebody fine a man fuh dis ol’ so and so… meetin’
adjourned.
*Burnham quote is real, not so sure about the rest, will ask Anil to authenticate.
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