Guysnooze Week in Review 6-6-2015

Guysnooze Week in Review 6-6-2015

What a week! First the Guysnooze crew went on strike accusing the editor of being guilty of “control freakism” , it took a few hours to convince staff to give up smoking, drinking and partying and return to work, after a few hours of worship, they finally ketch sense and delivered the weekly review.

The week began with floods, but who cares? Really, no biggie, it rains, we use the fridge boats to deliver the relevant Ministers to Kokers, they stand around in long-boots, make pointy gestures and go to cabinet for a lil freck, problem solved!

For World Environment day, the soldiery of the nation cut some grass and cleaned a drain, for this they were all awarded “Environment” medals and given an extra pound of cheese with the regular rations. Well done, the plan is to have them cut the grass at Camp Ayangana one day and release the current contractors.

  Stabroek News named a different Speaker each day this week, we began the week with a Ford and ended up in Scotland … this new approach to journalism has been referred to as “throwing shit on the wall to see how much sticks” , so much for facts and credible sources.

A new Director of Public Information has been named, response was immediate with one local wag saying “Animal farm had Snowball, we get Eggball” ….

The Guyanese Fukup Federation (GFF) today revealed their new goalkeeper “Fat Spock” , in invited comment “Fat Spock” said “dis jus like being prime ministah, me stan up in wan karner an ah watch an me nahgamuchfudo , he also took the opportunity to endorse cake soap (was it the lighting?)

Waste Indies Coach Phull took to twitting about his team’s loss to a bunch of old Kangaroos, borrowing heavily from the PPP/C’s playbook, Phull insisted they were “cheated not defeated” as the four runs that were stolen from his team “changed the complexion of the match” , he plans to stage a protest to demand a recount, this action brought back memories of Phull’s playing days when he famously stated he got hit “above the head” … we are starting to believe him….

 New GFF goalie “Fat Spock” commented on the Waste Indies loss by saying “anything that changes the complexion must be considered, cake soap for example”

Gecon Chairman also made a statement on the Waste Indies loss indicating that “they all need a good poll”

Party close down early at Palms Court tonight, the fire chief said “PC is no longer Politically Correct”, he advised patrons to “let Jesus take the wheel” at which point Jesus pointed out that he had only recenty come from Cuba and was not sure that he was willing to drive.

The Fire Chief has stated that it is his belief that the Arsonist at the Ministry of Continuity was planning “to burn down de place”…shocking behavior for an arsonist, he also let slip that he had fire tenders parked outside all ministries for just such occasions “we did expectin’ dis. When we see the man buy kero, we call for backup” , well done fire chief, you may have avoided being fired yourself this week…