Guysnooze Week in Review 13-06-2015
Another week in the bag and it’s starting to look like
Christmas will be late this year, Santa will not be keeping promises made on
the campaign trail, in fact H.E says , ya’ll lucky I ent raising nuttin’, well
thank yuh Comrade Leader, thank yuh very much, so without further ado, it’s your
week in review.
Monday began with the dread news that the Golden Jaguars had
run into difficulties securing citizenship for some of its members, Minister of
Mashramani and Citizenry , Cde.Rolex had this to say” leh dem come an’ talk to
me, an’ leh dem know they gah come right, me in wan no tight jersey, passport
is bizness, leh dem no duh” in response, Golden Jags coach said… “is the same
buddup,Jaguars are still being led by Jackasses, I thought things would change,
all that change is the size of the jackass, dis one is a big a Jackass!”,
..more to come on this story next week.
Reports from around Georgetown suggest that the Vector
control Unit was trying to find the Headquarters of Internet muse service “Gt
Maskita” , houses of known Already Found Collaborating members were subject to
10 minute “fumigation” exercises, Kill the Maskita was the directive of new DPI
‘Buse man” Kant, “it has served our purpose, now it must die” …bzzz, bzzz, can
get irritating eh?
There was a small protest outside the Ministry of Committees
, Leena Flea of Beri beri fame was seen along with the usual suspects, Benkok ,
Fredswhal and…and the Minister of Committees Cde. Bullcan, when questioned as
to why he was protesting his own ministry, the Minister sheepishly apologized
and said, “old habits die hard, I got an addiction to cardboard and the smell
of permanent markers” , he then left the old gang and made his way into his
Ministry….
H.E Cde. Greenshirt addressed the first sitting of the 11th
parliament, he urged those present to “get on with the work of the Nation”
there were loud cheers of “hear hear” which was followed by the declaration of
a two week holiday/recess.
Minister Brooms has taken her war
against sex workers to another level, not satisfied with the “No “ Whore Lef
Behind” program, she has now taken aim at “Sexy Workers”, yep, all dem office
girls in dem tight up skirt, lil g-string panty covering big roung BT, stocking
an’ high heel, NO MORE! , Minister Brooms noted “it is not safe, man watchin’
dem sexy girls and getting stans, some tripping ova, some driving into trench,
it is creating an unsafe work environment, it is a leading cause of Alzheimer’s,
men forget dem got wife” the Minister defended her decision stating “this is
TIP, Traffikin’ In Phatness”. Minister of Prickle Afares , Cde. Moustache said “I
am nat sure where they fine dis woman”, Guysnooze was unable to determine if
the Hon. Minister was referring to a TIP victim or Min. Brooms.
In unrelated news, a Betting pool was established to see
which minister will be first to be fired, despite her whore finding abilities,
Brooms is favourite to be the first to get marching orders at 6/5, at the other
end of the spectrum is Amnaah who is
described as possessing “cockroach like survivor abilities” is an at 500-1.
The President later answered questions about his appointment
of former Military officers to key advisory positions, in reply he said “I
junta be very clear, we are not militarising the Government” he then ordered
the new advisors to ‘Left turn! Quick march, lef’, Lef right now” , dem banna
could march tho…
The PPP has not made the week in news, no doubt they feel “Cheated
not Defeated” by the omission, we await the return to relevance, but given the
current attitude, we are not holding our breath, they would be well advised to
take the advice given in the “leaked’ email.
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