GDF plans A-Z

With war drums beating in the chest of all patriotic Guyanese in the face of rass from nex’ door, Guysnooze asked our army about plans in the event of open hostility or outright war, we were told that the Guys Don’t Fight had plans A-Z for all eventualities, we were given a sneak peek, here’s:

GDF plans A-Z

A – All awhee run way!

B- Back away from the border slowly.

C- Close we eye an’ pretend to be asleep during the invasion.

D- Wear Depends in preparation for D’ Shittings!

E- Espanol, larn fuh tal the spanish lingo quick, "you quiero tu madre" an' ting...

F- Fuk aff and keep fukin’ aff, lef the Fightin’ to other Fuckin’ armies.

G- Get out de place quick!

H- Hide, then High-tail it in the adder direction!

I- Inform the guvamant dat we ent gat boats, Venezuela claiming the water, wha’ yuh wan we do, Swim?

J- Jump in mini-bus, car, van and Fuk aff (See plan F)

K- Kaka weself when the shooting start (as usual)

L- Lef Right, Lef right out de place after the fus bullet fire.

M- Learn to say “Que te ame mucho tiempo” or me love you long time, worked for the Viet-cong, didn’t it?

N- Nod yes when dem Venoe ask if we want surrenda!  (si senor, rendicion mucho mucho)

O- Organize Protest (see Plan P)

P- Prepare Placards for Protest, after surrendering, use the slogan “cheated not defeated” and protest vigorously outside the Chairman of War office.

Q- Quietly slip away from the fighting.

R- Run like skunt!

S – Shit up weself (as normal)

T- Try bribing dem Venoe with toilet paper (Tengo el papel higiénico)

U- Mek U-Turn when the shooting start.

V- Vehicle breakdown excuse shall be given to the guvament, is wu fuh de police all the time, suh why it cayn wuk fuh we, goat ent bite we!

W- Welcome the invaders with open arms and wait for the Yankee to rescue we. (see Plan Y)

X- Unknown, but it involves Vaseline…..

Y-Is dee Yankee dem fine Oil , leh the Yankee fight de war.

Z- Declare Essequibo a No-go Zone.