The Weak in Review

The Weak in Review

Weak, as is weak with laughter, the previous days have been especially trying , one can literally die with laughter in Guyana, we begin with the AFC and its choice of words.English is an amazing language, one word in a sentence can be quite telling, for example when the AFC threatened to reveal PPP bank accounts with fabulous sums, the telling adjective was "Fabulous", not shameful, disgraceful or even disgusting, seems to indicate envy or admiration, not quite sure which... A Fabulous Craving to emulate perhaps? not to be outdone in the area of asinine statements, the Guyana Road Safety Council,Charge the passengers for overloading, let's not stop there, leh we charge the passengers if the driver speeding, or if he drunk, or if he driver's license  expire, in fact, leh we charge the passengers if the driver offers a bribe.

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Headlines this week screamed "RAMOTAR WANTS ARMY TO WORK"

Following up on this, Guysnooze was granted an exclusive interview with Head Honcho of Guys Doing Fuckall (GDF), the former president seems to be not aware of our ongoing operations that are consuming our time.

GZ: could you share some details of those operation with the public?

HH: well, it's very hush hush, state secrets, but I can tell you we have two ongoing operations, Operations SkinCock and Rockback, plus Exercise BushCook will commence shortly to replace Operation BackBall which has been cancelled this year.

GZ; and these operations and exercises take up much of your time?

HH: my good man, this is what we do! , of course it takes up all of our time, well, that and medal ceremonies, awards, that sort of thing, how do you think a country with no warships ended up with an Admiral? Everybody is General, brigadier, Colonel...yuh see any ranks hey? we ent got enough small ranks to cut we own grass fuh Years now... is a big bai operation we running hey...

GZ: No operation BackBall? ...but..but ..it's tradition! #change.

The Commander in Deed in a statement also told the former President it was none of his beeswax what the Army did with their time, "so what if the cost is over 3 million per solider per annum, does that mean they must earn it?, I think not! these heroes deserve their rest and recreation like everybody else, who knows when they may be called upon to fight a War".

We asked the head Honcho at GDF for a response to this also.

HH: War? War? what the hell! ...we are not that kind of Army... most of our members are professional soldiers, we serve as military attaches and go on lengthy courses of education...war? war...(we left the good man shaking his head )

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The other armed forces, namely the Police announced that they had seized 300 Kilos of Cocaine for the year 2015, upon closer investigation Guysnooze learned the figures may be a bit inflated... A source close to the action in the force claims that "is really 30 Kilos, that we seized ten times, we sell it and then seize it back, yuh know, like recycling"  ... funny business policing but good to see they have a recycling policy.

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CANU today suffered a breach of security as details of the agency's patented "Patta Coke" search techniques were inadvertently released to local media outlets, Head of the agency stated that it was bad enough that a Minister of the former regime had exposed the agency's "Skin BT" at a rally in Linden, but now whole new ways would have to be devised to check holes.

*Guysnooze staff is busy with it's annual get together to watch Home Alone on NCN.