Nuff Gaff Organizations (NGO)

Nuff Gaff Organizations (NGO)

In the past when feeling sick you used to drink a phensic, now it would seem the cure resides in the NGO, or Nuff Gaff Organizations, whatever the problem we got an NGO fuh dat, thick like fly, thicker than thieves, providing employment, self aggrandizement, fame, fortune but sadly it seems, no solutions, no cures, the healthiest smiles reserved for the day the check comes in from the funding fools, UN dis dat or the odder. So today Guysnooze takes a look at NGO's and what they really do in Guyana, as usual we used the "Gidharie" line of spy devices to eavesdrop, only the best for us.... we take you inside the belly of the beast, the "I Heart Guyana" NGO meeting in GT.

Charmaine: thenk you all for coming to the meeting today, there are snacks and drinks at the back, help yourselves, this meeting is funded by the UN Committee for Empowerment, the first order of business is to get our first project proposal in for funding, any suggestions?

Donna: well, how about domestic abuse? or drugs, or indignant people...(interrupted)

Jackie: I think you mean Indigenous people?

Donna: no! i mean what i said Indignant people, people who vex, who need help to calm the fuck down, people like me who are always interrupted bef---(interrupted)

Charmaine: calm down sister Donna, take a sip of the lovely UN funded coconut water.

Jackie:  well ah see yuh point... but ya'll sure we gon get funding for dese tings? it seems every other ngo doing dem ting already..

Ali: look, how about we find out what they funding and den do dat!

Charmaine: I thought we would see what we passionate about..no Donna, not you kinda passion!

Jackie: I passionate about cheese, so I agree wid Ali.

Charmaine: we all in agreement, you in the back deh, fat man... stop stuffing yuh face wid the cheeseroll and pay attention nah..the snacks ent running away... you agree wid the plan from the looks of it you got passion for cheese too..cheeseroll , hahah, arite leh we see wha available.

Ali: look dis hey, dem giving up to 10 thousand pounds fuh produce movies with local content.

Jackie: girl, Koju gat dat lack, he jus win some big prize, suh we gon get beat out deh...look again.

Sheema: well look, dem funding help fuh one foot man.

Jackie: dem got man wid one foot?

Charmaine: yes, they rare , but they deh bout.. I run into one a time, lef me walking funny fuh days

Donna: I could see how passion could be inflamed for this project, I starting to feel passionate about it already, hmm it hot in hey or wha?

Sheema: well leh we start write nuh , this thing got mih creative juices flowing

Ali: hahah girl, you look like you could do wid a good "creating" right about now!

Charmaine: well the main problem is finding dese special men, how we gon do duh one? I ent sending me patta to blows again, nat me! 

Donna: otisha din say them man fetching nuff lumber down by the cathedral?

Sheema: is wha wrang wid you, dem kinda man wan the same ting you want, no! we got to do dis professionally, we rent the theater guild and hold auditions, closed of course.

Jackie; oh gosh, it would be like Magic Mike! yes, yes! yes!!

Fat Man: (puts down patty) ya'll know dat is one leg man dem looking fuh help right? ...not 12 inch studs...

Silence........................................................................

Charmaine: ........ well yes.... any other ideas, dem one leg man done got they own racket by dem red light, and sir...you is the man from Guys News? (close enough)

Ali: I hear they got funding for linguistics

Sheema: I love a cunning Linguist

Donna: 69 is mih favourite numbah

Fat man: I cyan tek dis no more! ya'll is sex maniacs! plus dem ent got no mo pinetart.

......so Dear Reader , our high tech listening device ambled out the room as the strains of the job became too much for him to take.... in the background he hears...

wha bout suicide, people henging theyself whole day... is blow or blows causing it.... leh we fix it by offering strangers who look sad cuddles, or coffee, or ...

*GT has more Nuff Gaff Organizations than anywhere else per capita. #1