Whoreville

Another day another request to play “Farmville”…. Is wha wrang with Guyanese, is bored they bored? Lemme see what dis thing is about, hmm, a pretend farm where yuh could milk cow , play with the animals , watch eggs grow, heh, not bad and look they have other game Cityville, mek yuh own town, one dat doan flood when rain set up, no fridge-boat taxi service, looks nice, I wonder if they have one based on Guyana, ah gun write Zynga and find out….

1 week later

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Dear Mr. Snoozer,

While we have no games based on Ghana, we thank you for your enquiries, if you believe that a game based on your country would be popular and well received by the global village based on its uniqueness, please submit an outline and we will evaluate it, should it be selected as a development target, Zynga Corp. will pay you One Million United States Dollars and negotiate a royalty fee on all income earned by the game.

Sincerely

A Big Shot

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Well , a milli, a milli, a milli-on-aire, now we talking GT language, Guysnooze boss put all the staff to work,.

Go minions, seek, find, report, let’s do this thing!, with those words ringing in dem ears, all the reporters scattered and looked in every nook and cranny of Guyanese life and duly reported back to the boss man.

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Dear Big Shot,

Ah gat ah game fuh yuh, it is based on life in Guyana and has been researched by a team of intrepid reporters, it is based on the uniqueness of life in GUYANA, nah confuse we with Ghana again, unless yuh meet a man name sam Blinds, he from Ghana, the rest of we from Guyana, kool, now to the business at hand.

The game will be called “WHOREVILLE” , risqué , but all aspects of life in our country involve some form of whoring, this is how the thing would work:

Players can choose to be either Johns or Whores to begin, then as they gain experience they would move up or down the scale of life, in Guyana  for example, many Johns become Pimps, the most successful pimps can move on to being Drug dealers, then drug exporters, so that could be one line of development, or the John could choose to become a businessman, then he could earn money for more whoring, Whores can start as street walkers, then move up to strippers or down to Sheriff Street walkers, there is always higher or lower to go, think of the excitement, whoring on Sheriff Street and bam! Up pulls a Benz, next minute the John is partying with you in da club! , off the hook you say, every night business in GT, so below I will lay out some paths of progress up or down the Whoreville ladder.

Whore (female)-Madame -Social Whore- Society Wife.

Whore (female) –Sherrif Street Whore-Junkie Whore- Junkie

Whore (male)-Cathedral Girl- Sewage Technician-Politician’s darling- Kept Girl- Water Manager

John- Drug Dealer-Drug Exporter- Human Trafficker-Respectable Businessman-Pillar of Society-Paragon of Virtue

John- pimp-pickpocket-briefcase and tie conman-NGO founder-High class conman.

John- Pimp- Junior Politician-Minister- Senior Minister- Prime Minister-President.

We at Guysnooze are sure you will be a little confused at first, but these are daily occurrences in our sugar and rice republic, we are willing to work with you to work out the various progressions and inter-relationships, we have no doubt this will be a Fantastic!® game, or so we have been told by the Captain.

The marketing of the game can be done with the phrase “All ah we is Whores”®

Make check out to Rxxxx Sxxxx.

Cheers

Guysnoozers

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*Editors note.  It has been three months not a blasted word, like we gat to go deh an’ lay down the pimp hand pun dem.