Another day another request to play “Farmville”…. Is wha
wrang with Guyanese, is bored they bored? Lemme see what dis thing is about, hmm,
a pretend farm where yuh could milk cow , play with the animals , watch eggs
grow, heh, not bad and look they have other game Cityville, mek yuh own town,
one dat doan flood when rain set up, no fridge-boat taxi service, looks nice,
I wonder if they have one based on Guyana, ah gun write Zynga and find out….
1 week later
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
Dear Mr. Snoozer,
While we have no games based on Ghana, we thank you for your
enquiries, if you believe that a game based on your country would be popular and
well received by the global village based on its uniqueness, please submit an
outline and we will evaluate it, should it be selected as a development target,
Zynga Corp. will pay you One Million United States Dollars and negotiate a
royalty fee on all income earned by the game.
Sincerely
A Big Shot
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
Well , a milli, a milli, a milli-on-aire, now we talking GT
language, Guysnooze boss put all the staff to work,.
Go minions, seek, find,
report, let’s do this thing!, with those words ringing in dem ears, all the
reporters scattered and looked in every nook and cranny of Guyanese life and
duly reported back to the boss man.
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Dear Big Shot,
Ah gat ah game fuh yuh, it is based on life in Guyana and
has been researched by a team of intrepid reporters, it is based on the
uniqueness of life in GUYANA, nah confuse we with Ghana again, unless yuh meet
a man name sam Blinds, he from Ghana, the rest of we from Guyana, kool, now to
the business at hand.
The game will be called “WHOREVILLE” , risqué , but all
aspects of life in our country involve some form of whoring, this is how the
thing would work:
Players can choose to be either Johns or Whores to begin,
then as they gain experience they would move up or down the scale of life, in
Guyana for example, many Johns become
Pimps, the most successful pimps can move on to being Drug dealers, then drug
exporters, so that could be one line of development, or the John could choose
to become a businessman, then he could earn money for more whoring, Whores can
start as street walkers, then move up to strippers or down to Sheriff Street
walkers, there is always higher or lower to go, think of the excitement,
whoring on Sheriff Street and bam! Up pulls a Benz, next minute the John is
partying with you in da club! , off the hook you say, every night business in
GT, so below I will lay out some paths of progress up or down the Whoreville
ladder.
Whore (female)-Madame -Social Whore- Society Wife.
Whore (female) –Sherrif Street Whore-Junkie Whore- Junkie
Whore (male)-Cathedral Girl- Sewage Technician-Politician’s darling-
Kept Girl- Water Manager
John- Drug Dealer-Drug Exporter- Human Trafficker-Respectable
Businessman-Pillar of Society-Paragon of Virtue
John- pimp-pickpocket-briefcase and tie conman-NGO founder-High
class conman.
John- Pimp- Junior Politician-Minister- Senior Minister-
Prime Minister-President.
We at Guysnooze are sure you will be a little confused at
first, but these are daily occurrences in our sugar and rice republic, we are
willing to work with you to work out the various progressions and
inter-relationships, we have no doubt this will be a Fantastic!® game, or so we
have been told by the Captain.
The marketing of the game can be done with the phrase “All
ah we is Whores”®
Make check out to Rxxxx Sxxxx.
Cheers
Guysnoozers
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
*Editors note. It has been three
months not a blasted word, like we gat to go deh an’ lay down the pimp hand pun
dem.
