Nagamania!

Nagamania!

We have a live one boys! Shouted the editor, somebody call one of dem murderous Cuban trained doctors and fine out what the hell is ‘nagamania’ ‘anti-nagamania’ and what are the treatments, leh we find out who is suffering from dis ting, if is an epidemic or just endemic to the Previously Powerful People Complaining (PPP/C), ya’ll gat an hour to mek yuh report , suh mek case…

One hour later…

Fat Reporter: Sor, me doctor fren say we can only use her information if we included the phrase ‘fuck freddy skunthole’ somewhere in the story…we could do dat? …please, it would make me happier than a free pinetart and cheeseroll combined!

Editor: well, ah waz going to do that anyways, but to please your friend I can add Freddy is the biggest skunthole since Hitler …see if she like dat!

Fat Reporter: right then, dis is what she said, mania suggest that there is an excessive enthusiasm or desire; an obsession with the subject, she reports that for the subject in this case ‘naga’ no scientific evidence exists that a critical mass of any of those emotions are present in the general population, his better half has indicated that “Sam shop shut” where desire is concerned and the only person who has demonstrated any symptom of mania is Comrade Eggball, whom our doctor noted may be a false positive caused by ‘brown-nosing’

Ed: brown-nosing …that is...?

Fat Reporter: dat sor, is when you kiss-ass so deeply that the tip of your nose becomes brown with (interrupted)

Ed: oh… I thought it was when your head is so far up your own arse… well, we could write a note on that For Your Information, so no evidence of ‘nagamania’?

Fat Reporter: well, my doc ..and she does have ‘killer’ looks and body, says that it only exists if ‘mania’ were interpreted as mental illness marked by periods of great excitement, euphoria, delusions, and over-activity, and in that case the subject ‘naga’ would be the one suffering from the malady.

Ed: well, if ‘nagamania’ does not exist how can ‘anti-nagamania’ be explained , ah mean it’s obvious dat  people always ‘don’t-ing’ the man….

Girl Reporter: I believe it might be a case of ‘anti-nameekarmism’ that has been mis-diagnosed by the recipient due to a delusion of grandeur he may be afflicted with sir.

Ed: Brilliant diagnosis, you spen’ time in Cuba or wha’?, yall would do well to follow the example of dis girl, think for yourselves, killer diagnosis, I think we good to go, now whomever writing dis up, remember to mention dat skunthole Freddy could go fuck he stupid skuntholeish self!

*Freddy’s ignorant utterances vis a vis Cuban trained Doctors has led to him replacing GPL as our bête noir.