Policy Adjustments Document 69
Ministry of Social Protection
Clarification of Child Abuse and Social Protection.
- Sexual Abuse of minors is only an offence when committed by strangers.
- Family members may feel free to tamper with and orifices and fiddle with appendages as these actions are deemed part of the growth process by the Minister.
- Social protection coverage shall be extended to mean Social Protection of those with Party Cards to the exclusion of all others; minors who are not of age to warrant party cards or vote are not of great import.
- Ministry of SP shall distribute condoms to minors for use by party officials during the family “bonding” sessions. Party faithful are reminded it is a minor offence to get a minor member of your family pregnant.
- Family members of party card holders are reminded it is an offence to refuse to ‘bond’ or allow your children to be “bonded” by party card holders, the harder the work for the party, the harder you are expected to work for them.
- Family of party card holders are reminded that PPP dem doan talk out dey business and some of dem mus’ be doing the same ting! Shut up and don’t dig nothing, it’s for the good of the party.
- This Ministry is in no way associated with fuckin' GPL.
Published in response to ignoramuses who run tell it ‘pon
the dam’ without journalistic due diligence.
#runtelldatpondam
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