He is Risen

He is Risen 

In what can only be described as a second coming, for indeed that is what it is, The Christ has risen from the grave in a little known country in South America, Guyana, land of many waters, crapos, crabdawg, snake, maskita, critics and tigers, nuff nuff tigers, Christ apparently was languishing in a grave in La Rubbishdump cemetery in the capital city of Greentown, Georgetown, a breath of fresh air must have caught the son of god as the area was recently cleared of bush, vagrants and electoral candidates, witnesses described the, event:

Vagrantish looking man; well I man was mining I an’ I own business, I was nearly done when I heard the soung of harses galluping, then trumpets start blaring, I haul up mih draws and run fuh see, well it was the President passing, den I look back and see dis bannas climbing out duh ol’ grave deh, I go fuh haller pon he , but then he ask me something in gibberish, so I seh to mihself, he look lil mad, better lef he lone, I went back to writing my next prize winning novel, I ent got time with  lesser mortals much less immortals.

Woman: well is like the antiman one say, nuff harse and noise, then when president Obama pass, dis sexy white man tunrt up!, I neva see a white man wid abs like dat before, I would break me aff a piece of dat candy, uh-huh-ummm.

The recently risen son of god was immediately placed under arrest by Minister of Citizenship, the Hon. Cde.Rolex, for lack of documentation and entering the country from a place other than an immigration checkpoint.

While in custody, the Christ was given a meal of cook-up sans meat, a melee occurred when he was given water and it turned into wine, GRA officials were called in and the hapless savior was charged with evading taxes on alcohol, failure to have a TIN and fined 2000 years of back taxes, the ordeal was not yet over as Town Clown Clerk,  Riceton Kingping, demanded that the man who died for our sins be held accountable for the mess he made on his return to earth “look the man dig heself out the ground, dirt deh everyway ,dis is nat lang time, fees, he gat to pay fees”

In reply Christ said “give unto Little Seizer what belongs to Little Seizer” dis statement was not received well and a few lessons about the 'passion' of Guyanese were soon learned by our lord.

The Christ was then taken to the Georgetown magistrates court where further mayhem erupted when the loincloth covered Christ was denied an opportunity to be heard as the Magistrate declared him a transgender and refused to let him enter the court, this led to a fiery protest outside the courthouse by the Brutal crew, who shouted slogans such as “de magistrate want Fly Uncle Charlie Kite” “he does come by we in the nite an’ he ent wan’ see we in the day” “get yuh lumber dressed, cut rate tonight” and of course “Fuck GPL”

The Christ was remanded until such time as a Commission of Inquiry could be held to determine his legal status, in jail however , the Son of God was treated as a savior, once inmates found out he could turn grass into real grass, well, he get the full starbai package, top bunk wid jumbo matrass, buckta wid no hole, the remote fuh E-networks and of course a cell phone wid free credit for a month.

This bodes well for the world, no doubt the Christ will have a dozen new disciples in no time flat, in fact according to Fatman, it look like Redman, Guts, Skinbt, Tall boy and Tall Man are all making strides in that direction while it is rumored that Christ don’t like Blackman, no..not black people, dacta  Blackman who’s in for dealing oxycotin to oxymorons.

*In related news, Singer Rudy Grant released a new single “Christ in Guyana, People going Crazy” its tearing up on NCN.