Propaganda Worksheep

Propaganda Worksheep

 We ent get invite to the media brunch, yuh think dey had pinetart and ting? said our editor mournfully as he looked around the room, "dey dissin' we, dis ent gon done suh" shouted one hotheaded reporter, "leh we form a committe to write a strongly worded letter of protest" he suggested. "who hire this banna?" asked the editor "you musse new roung hey, we does it different, this is a sharpening of the knife meeting" . "The President has declared that he will use our hard earned money to fund re-education of this pack of lying journalist we gat, we will teach you to tell the truth weather yuh like it skites or not, fus' ting is fuh fine out who he did looking at when he did talking, I know Uncle Adam bin behine he back so he get spare the glare" said the editor, "maybe he did looking at the girl dem bai did wan' F@#&" said one old wag. "Well is only one way fuh fine out wha' H.E did really mean boys, time for Operation Truthify"... yuh mean like when the police gat "Operation Dragnet?" , dem banna woulda be betta aff wid "Operation Anser the Fucking Fone" skites ...and so the meeting went , until a method of observing the re-education of the  lambs reporters was decided upon.

Operation Thruthify

In the end it was easy, one man wear a nice suit and tie and dem let he in and give he a seat up front, one sling a camera rung he neck, he pass in easy and the back-up plan was to leh we girl bring in sangwich if the other two get discovered, in the end despite the ease of access and not being exposed we still call fuh the sangwich dem.

The class of reporters all assembled promptly between 9 to 10.30 (dem walk in as they please) at that time we were all surprised when the PA system blare out 'let us cooperate for Guyana" and we all stood as H.E himself entered the room looking sharp in his black crimpaline suit adorned wid nuff medals.

H.E: thank you for coming today, let me introduce the head table comprised of persons who will be educating you on the ways of the Truth, myself, PM Nahgamuchfado, DPI Snowball Con, who was one of you a few years ago and our consultant Rueful "brown baggie" Jansun, a well know prize winning skunthole  ...well we talking truth hey today, no need fuh varnish.. dat was lesson One.

 Questions?

Onrico: Why was I invited? I always tell the truth...

H.E: Do you? let me say this, if I were to make a statement now that "The sky is green and the clouds are yellow" would you say that is a truthful statement?

Onrico: No, I would not...

H.E: ehhhhh! wrong answer, once I say something it becomes truth, understand? that is why you are here, for re-education.

Onrico walks out at that point, our editor looks up from his pinetart and sighs...

H.E: for example I did an interview recently where i said there was no evidence of corruption against the PPP, I said plainly I made up complaints of corruption while in Opposition and am now trying to find evidence to back those claims up, this is how truth works, make stuff up and then find evidence to prove your statements true, I am confident in this method, it has been used b none other than Einstein, you have heard of the Theory of relativity, well its true ..now, but at the time it was a theory, so it is with what I say, everything I say will be proved true in time. Questions?

Uncle Adam: So who getting the contract to paint the sky and clouds? nat BK ah hope...

H.E: That is not my area, ask Joe, Now I have to leave to attend matters of state, or as my wife calls it "mid-morning naptime", I bid you success in your studies. (H.E leaves while the P.A plays "me bowl of boiling caffee in the marnin'").

P.M Nagas: Now that H.E has left, I am in charge and is not even weekend, well you heard from a visionary leader, now #itistime for my presentation on RE-visionary truth, for example, you may have seen videos of me on the internet saying "if i were to leave the PPP and join a next party, I would be a nameekaram"... so let me show you how that is not the truth, first of all it on the internet, do not believe anything you see or hear on that evil network, look earlier this week, both my office and the DPi office put our images on the internet saying that the Ministry of Tourism move to Katty handbag, yuh see, all abby Ministers of tourism does do is turn Tourist and travel 'bout the world but today, we deleted those images and say we merged this, all because Captain Yerry open he sink mouth on we. This we call being 'Re-Visionary" ....Questions?

HardTimes: PM nameeka...ahm naggas, how does this change you being a nameekaram?

PM Naggas: Look gurl, i said I would be one if I" WALKED" away, I get kick out...yuh see? any other questions? no...I gone, I too have to look busy at the office.

Snowball Con: I think the class is going well, and #itistime for a new concept, Positive Perception, I will use the example of the Waste Indies tour right now, some may have seen reports saying rain is saving us from a whitewash in the series, but I put to you that reports could be changed by applying positive perception, OZ unable to bowl out Waste Indies for three days or rain saves OZ batsmen, rain preventing WI from historic win, you see?

Stabber: but those are lies...

Snowball Con: are they? can you prove that? Waste Indies are still batting on day three...we could win any match we play in theory (remember what H.E said?) and the rain could be saving the OZ batsmen from the temptation of breaking Sir Donald Bradman's scoring records. Understand? now over to Rueful...

Rueful: Morning lesser mortals... today I am here to tell you about A truth versus the truth, A truth is a version that is acceptable to the government who is paying for this course and my stipend for talking to you, while the truth is somewhat more nebulous based on perception as Snowball pointed out. Questions?

GSZ Editor: looking down at Thigh-pad (not I-pad jus a note pad pon me thigh #oldskool) so how do we know what is acceptable to Government?

Rueful: we will tell you, in fact from now on all press conferences will include a list of acceptable questions. Questions?

Man in hat: Look is all morning we listening to rass! I mad vex I tek time to attend this ...this... Propaganda worksheep!

Rueful: look the PPP has sent its puppets to disrupt the glorious work of the workers paradise. why don't you stop being a sycophantic racist you idiot!

Man In hat: (sputtering with rage) ME! A PPP! PUPPET! lil bai I would lick yuh skunt down hey today!

Rueful: it is obvious you are a PPP supporter, just look at you, and obviously racist too, all yall Indians are.

Snowball Con: (whispers)...dats Glen Lall you ass! ... shet yuh skunt and siddung. ladies and gentlemen that short bit by Rueful was just for entertainment and not meant to be taken seriously, I suggest you erase the last bit from your memories. good day and remember .... H.E knows best.

*Back from a break and hoping this story pushes us past the 100K page view mark, is that true?