I wrote, you cried, freedom died.

I wrote, you cried, freedom died.

The Guysnooze newsroom was today thrown into a frenzy when we received our copy of the Daft Cybercrimes Bill, "jail bai, Jail, I too old fuh dis shit" moaned the editor, "#itistime people start fight fuh dey own rights, me ent able no mo" ... this was of course before the sandwiches arrived, after that it was a meeting in the war room.

The discussion of how to retain Freedom of Speech and not violate the laws proposed by the Daft bill, fittingly, strains of the Mission impossible theme music wafted through the open windows.

Editor: Boys dis is a disaster, will have to ask Lawyerboy (a local superhero) to participate in the discussion, I beg you reporters to have patience, he's a Chelsea FC fan and he been hitting the bottle lil hard recently.

LawyerBoy: Good evening, what seems to be the problem?

Ed: well , everything we do or say as an organization can easily be construed as a violation of dese laws, we know for a fact certain men does cry so we does try nah fuh talk 'bout dem too much, but tek we fren', the prize winning skunthole, how we gon refer to he now, btw...how he gon earn a living now? he does get pay by the "fuck aff"... dis ting got further raminfications... but fuck he, back to we problem, wha' we could call he for example so dat everybody know is he but he cyan prove is he we talking 'bout? could we say "Soapless Writer" or "Bess Smelling author" or ...Author of Bath Time - another fiction...

LB: hmm... look, I suggest yuh keep bail money handy , doan worry I will defend you when they lock yuh skunt up, you got my emergency number?

Reporter: I think I going back to work as a crash test dummy  mini-bus conductor, it safer.

Ed: ahm LawyerBoy, dis ting could be retroactive... like all dem tings people been saying over the years, cause Guyana facebook is the bess, no lie, it got action, comedy, fambily drama, in fact most Guyanese doan need cable fo entertainment, we got people on fb dat does talk out all they bizness, blow, blows, who is panty man, who is antiman, who is they mudder man, they sister man, who tek way who man not to mention dem tusty man who does like dem binni in bikini picture hoping fuh get notice, all 3489 of dem.

LB: well if it retroactive you gon get the death penalty... I thinking about raising mih fees....

Ed: so this might be the last Guysnooze edition, the end of an era, one year, 100K plus page views, it's been fun, so in the hope that the dragonian laws not retroactive, here's a last merry fuck you to everybody, especially the writers among us.

To El Presidente congratulations on surpassing Burnham as a Machiavellian, the old granddad act really fooled many and good luck with your memoirs "The Acolyte strikes back" .  

I also hope we fren the skunk wins the Guyana prize for his new work "Pick up Soap? ...What's Soap? - My time in lot 12. I know the competition will be stiff, as entries include works such as "Tight and Sweet- a new location by Jerry Bacchus, "Going down for talking up" by Lil Ram,  Pasta in Prison- a love story By A Runah , Javindar and Ajacent's homophobic tomes 'Brashun is against creation" "One way street" are also strong contenders, but I man...I man cyan stop writing because it hurt's your feelings, they could take the pen out of the cold dead fingers.

18. (1) A person who uses a computer system to– (a) coerce, intimidate or harass another person with intent to cause emotional distress; or (b) cyberbully, intentionally or recklessly, another person, commits an offence. (2) A person who uses a computer system to disseminate any information, statement or image, knowing the same to be false, and who– (a) damages the reputation of another person; or (b) subjects another person to public ridicule, contempt, hatred or embarrassment, commits an offence.

*I often wonder about those Jews in Germany and Austria, How could they have missed the signs and not sold out, packed up and left? Now I know the answer, THEY CHOSE TO STAY AND TRY TO CHANGE IT.