Guysnooze Week in News 2-18-2015
What a week, full of surprises, some good, some bad and …well
nah leh we talk ‘bout Waste Indies…
We began the week with news that Freddy had found a job
post-UG as a Watchman, he announced this by way of his daily column in the
Knews , reaction was mixed with the Publisher being heard to exclaim” this is
wha’ I paying by the inch fuh” which was
met by silence from the editor who sat there looking longingly at the baseball
bat gifted to him by the local league, “I would like to give Freddy this by the
inch” he muttered under his breath, but the comment was heard and recorded
clearly by the recording devices in the office (doan as we who recording
devices, we ent know).
The Cow Party (URP) had a tiff over a spliff, and Ras Whahename
left amicably,” I man need to trod to, I man cayn join who doan like Joint”…. Seems
legit !
The Hummingbird accord was signed by formerly prejudiced
men, who after 60 years took off the race tined lenses and recognized each other
as former schoolmates from whence or whim? , both were fitted with new rose
tinted lenses and dosed with Love Potion Number 9, wild celebrations followed as
the vice-presidents celebrated their new positions, things calmed down after
someone explained they were not actually Presidents of Vice and not in charge
of granting work permits to sex workers, asked for comment the Prime Minister
in waiting declared “I did it all for you and brother prak and sister Kathy got
jobs too” , Presidential candidate for the collation Cde. Greenshirt simply
said “sofee,sofee, ketchee monkey” in some sort of cryptic reference to greedy
monkeys with hands in the jar.
The ruling party this week did nothing of note, which in
itself was alarming, supporters and detractors alike were confused, link show
writers expressed outrage, but finally a statement came out saying the party
would leave all the comedy this week to Chow Pow, the General Secretary was
said to be keeping a low profile as the year of the Goat begins tomorrow and he
expects his star to be in ascendency.
The Irish cricket team had a wonderful start to their campaign
serving up a lickin’ to minnows (who shall not be named), West Indian Born
coach of Ireland Phil Simmons when asked for comment said “You've got to do
your own growing, no matter how tall your father was.’ , Minnow chairman of electors said “stueeps” and refused to elaborate.
Finally in our feel
good story of the week, one amazing little girl answered the question ‘Guyana
is full of……………” with the word GUYANESE, our editor is lobbying to give
her the Guyana Prize…all of them for the best writing EVER!
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