Breaking News! Mass breakout in GT!
Guysnooze man on the spot reports:
Red alert! Green alert! Yellow alert! All parties beware the youths have woken up and are breaking out of their pens, the PYO, GYSM and ..uhm,( like A failed Collation dem ent got a youth arm, oops!) Have been put on alert as the youth of the nation have woken from a too long slumber and are asserting themselves all over the place!
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It’s pandemonium agent 007 has been tasked with driving them back into the historical pen, we listen in to the conversation.
007: dese utes is problems comrade, they starting to think for themselves! I cannot drive them back into the pen it seems they are being influenced by new ideas, send me some to entice them back, this is an urgent request!
Greenshirt: Tell dem I got a twitter
007: all dat showing is dat you is a twit! We need real solutions to youth problems, not you maths mistakes and fashion disasters! is how much greenshort yuh really gat!
Greenshirt: well change from this "Driven Youths" ting, how about "YOUTHS FOR DAVID GRANGER" ? I like the sound of dat!
007: i will try dat, oh great leader.
Cde. Hardman: Code Green! Code Green!
007: whu is duh?
Cde. Hardman: Play the “Race Card”
007: look, yuh know I ent deh pun duh, the utes ent deh pun duh either, so come up with some fresh ideas.
Greenshirt: Ok, we will form a committee to look into this as a matter of urgency.
007: (groans) not another committee, is how much we got now, garbage committee, collation committee, ganja committee, Linden reconciliation committee, committee to oversee the work of all committees….ya’ll ent gone done?
Cde. Hardman: 007 come back to base, ah feel like yuh getting to big fuh yuh booths, time for the disciplinary committee ….
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In the other camp the Red alert! Code has also been sounded and Infant Oliy has been put on the case.
Infant Oliy: thank you for electing me to head this prestigious organization from this verdant land of ours, where the flamingoes and eagles live and fly side by side , where our lush forests are full of lush miners every Friday night, where the tourist dwell with the labbas… (interrupted)
Worker1: ahm, Minister, we does only work with you we don’t vote an’ ting…
Infant Oliy: well what you standing there for? Go and clean up the university, sign here for the pine-sol, bucket and mop!
Worker2: the draglines ready to dig the drains Minister
Infant Oliy: any fish yuh ketch is me own, not dat I greedy….
Worker3: where yuh want this “walkway” built sor?
Infant Oliy: well see if yuh could build it lil high-ish, yuh know this place does flood easy easy
Worker3: like Iwokrama then?
Infant Oliy: watch yuh skunt deh!
Worker3: is arite bass, jus joking, ah like yuh shirt bad bad tho…is how much flower it got pun it? mih wife gat curtains jus' like um.
Infant Oliy: dat reminds me… free red flower shirts for all students and staff who return to class immediately!
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In the Alliance for Chairs camp a similar alert has been issued, a Yellow Alert and young party activist Mork Rass makes his report to the general council.
Prak: report yellow bud! Tell us how you have been engaging the youth of the nation.
Mork Rass: well, uh..ahm, I been trying to communicate with dem by sending photos of myself and engaging Lil Johnny in dialogue.
Prak: What?!!!
Mork Rass: yeah, I sent him a nude pic of myself and dared him to show people my 4 inch sotie, I am proud to say he did and it went viral! We all ova the internet, it is all young people are talking about!
Prak: listen Yellow Bud, do we a favor ….go an’ wuk fuh cup….
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*We will continue to follow this story as it develops
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