Collation Reactions

Collation Reactions

Guysnooze reporters were sent scurrying to a presser on Valentine ’s Day, what an injustice! But two political entities were about to coalesce and news is we business , so the editors were cracking the whips, “bring in more than the tripe they will hand you!, look deep for the bacchanal , find out who cuss whom, don’t come back with a release and two throwaway quotes, ya hear?”

Reporter: in a welcome new development the AFC has agreed to join the APNU collation, this approach saw the parties involved working past their prejudices, word is they hate being in opposition more than each other, both parties claimed that it was a fair deal done in order to win at all costs (no?) sorry, is for make better the glorious nation of Guyana, …….I like! How much? Was heard plenty during the negotiations, no word yet if the Principals of the New Collation would be creating a new entity or contesting under  A Perfectly Nice Umbrella , we await developments, over to my colleague who is gauging reactions from participants, interested parties, soup or rum drinkers , super rum drinkers and the man on the street.

Guysnooze posed the same question “what do you think of the collation?” to many and chronicled their responses below:

Cde. Greenshirt: It is good to be back at the helm of this ship, it is a dream come through.

Cde. Goatee: yuh put lipstick on a pig, it’s still a pig….

Cde. Nahgamuchfado: The next time, it is I who will be President that has been agreed to in principle, what a glorious day!

Rueful Johansesn: I nominate Dr. T who is a leading member of Civil Society for Speaker of the House!

Kneel  Koomari: look! Dem done kill wan man hey, he drap down deadid from heart,liver and kidney failure when he hear Moses gane crass the sea, he skunt should drungdid.

Cricketman: We win! We win!  (we know is elections he talking ‘bout ,cayn be Waste Indies)

Rapper Presi D: Suh wha? Who cares how many minnows swim in d’ pond, one bite from the shark an’ there’ all gone…zibby zibby,,hizzy schniznit…..

Rastaman: yes I, me here say the yute dem a legailize it, me a vote fuh dem , collation bun out, lion walk alone.

Lil Johnny: omg! Uncle Raphel is not a civilian, how could they do this to him, omg, let me text Cathy and tell her what a bitch she is… I going to release all the emails and tapes and I have on them, (brandishes item) who can DNA test this used condom …….or is this chewing gum?  Don’t suck yuh teeth and walk away…..I am taping you…….

Cde. Rolex: yes, I am in favor of this ting, even tho they put a drunken backside as home affairs minister and push me to one side like an old broom, is alright is best for ……look call mih back….

Man in the Street: well ah glad dey not racial no more, cause I kyan handle this raciality, race here race there, nobody got time to stop and give the poor man a towel, wha’ bout you brother, yuh look lil brucks  but lef sumthing nah.

Woman in the street: well me in understand this ting,all the time the singing” if yuh vote fuh ppp yuh racist, if yuh doan like the apnu , yuh racist, if yuh daon like afc yuh racist, if yuh got common sense yuh racist”… and now two men hug up and seh they not racist nomore, so vote fuh dem… I look like a stupidee?

Black Karl Marx: It is indeed strange that a container of rum should be left on the wharf, it behoves me to instigate an investigation with alacrity and stealth.

Reporter 2: there you have it, from the ridiculous to the sublime, confidence, hope, even some pre-mature ejaculations from Cricketman.

Guysnooze also did the usual rival headline round-up

Stabber:  Consummated on Valentine’s: A Political Love Story

KNews: Jagdeo not in Collation!

Chronic: Collation Kills man.

Hard Times: Amazon Warriors manager sends email to encourage Waste Indies team

New Nation: We’re Back Baby!

Mirror: They're Baaa...CK!