Happy Vamitzelly Day!

Happy Vamitzelly Day! 

So I in Scotiabank Friday,walk up to the teller, nice black girl, all decked out in a shalwar , well, I call all dem Indian things shalwar, anyways, I said happy deewalee , she laughed and told me it’s pagwah, my answer was ‘same thing’ …now I can make mistakes and laugh, but the poor Minister made the same mistake and bladdam! a ton of bricks pon she head, now… I not being paid to tek on Guyanese culture but still, I understand the lady confusion, dese national holidays are hard to keep track of, in February, one Comrade Phillips of ACDA said we have to do more for ‘Black History Month’, it seems we joined dem dere United States on the QT because I didn’t get that memo, we add ‘Chinee’ people day in January, despite ‘ Arrival Day” which purportedly is for the celebration of all arrivals to Guyana, so I can say honestly, I feel for the Minister, I know her “advisor’ deh pon skunt, drawing money and skinnin’ cock, so I have taken upon myself to lay out a guide to our National Holidays.

Occasion	Meaning
New Year’s Day	Get Sober from drinking that began on Boxing day.
Chinese Day	To Be Decided, suspect there will be ‘sales’ bonanza.
Republic Day	Mash in Guyana, people going kray-kray over the route…
Pagwah	Bucket to super-soakers, Guyana’s biggest water fight.
Good Friday	Jesus was Crucified for our sins, no Rum-shops open to celebrate his sacrifice.
Easter Monday	Go Fly Kites, all Rum-shops open
Labour Day	Tired workers get to march in the streets, Linclon Lewis gets to talk up.
Arrival Day	Ryann Shaw gets to talk up..or down to we… #hesperus
Independence Day	Of no significant import. #massadayback
Caricom Day	Drinkx N Daru
Emancipation Day	Free pone at Scotia, Dashiki day at national park, Sophia Drum crew performance. Eric Phillips gets to talk.
Eid-Ul-Azha	The good Eid, with beef from the neighbors.
Youman Nabi	The Okay one with vamitzelli an’ ting.
Christmas Day	Day we disappoint our children with lame gifts
Boxing Day	Drink to forget the look in dem lil pickney eyes when they saw their gifts.

On a serious note, please Cut the Minister some slack, throw water not shade!