Every
country has its superheroes and Super-villains, ever wonder why ‘superhero’ is
one word while ‘Super-villian’ has a hyphen? Wonder no more, we at Guysnooze
have done all the heavy lifting for you, see, no child grows up saying “ I want
to be a thief or villain” it takes supervision or lack of thereof to turn our
youth to a life of crime or being the bad guy… so while good guys (superheroes)
stand alone , Villains tend to congregate in groups or as we call them in
GT..Political Parties… that aside, we witnessed today the epic showdown between
the forces of good and evil as Captin Dusbim took on the villainous syndicate
of Parking Meter Men.
It all began
as most struggles of good and evil are wont to, by a damsel in distress, our Mayoress
was lil brucks and cut a deal…wait…what? .. Editor’s Note: This is not that
kind of publication, save that for Mills & Boon.(Delete)
It all began
as Captin Dusbim staged his Quixotic one man protest against the imposition of
Smart Man Inc. Metered Parking in areas of GT, wearing a cardboard sign that
said “Paid Parking Sucks” .Dusbim who is not unknown to members of the Press
corps, was holding forth on the evils of the Smart Man Inc. System when he was
confronted by the evil duo Parking Meter Man and his sidekick Police Fren
(PF), Parking Meter Man opened hostilities by telling Captin Dusbim to take his
protest out of one of the parking slots as he was preventing people from using
it, “is either dat or pay for the time you occupying it bitch” … Dusbim looked
incredulously up and down the empty street “what cars?” he asked, “you ent see
people boycotting your paid parking scheme?” …Parking Meter man responded by
saying “you have a bicycle, why you even protesting? Is it because you ent get
a cut or because you is a publicity whore?”… well the Good Captin Dusbim tongue
get tied, instead of answering he started to march up and down with his
cardboard sign shouting “down with paid parking!”… this standoff continued for
a while until another publicity whore
Prominent Spokesperson for the Smart Men dem turned up and began
shouting instructions to Parking Meter Man… “Don’t argue with that idiot, let
you little friend lock him up for loitering” …. Parking Meter Man thusly galvanized
into action said to Police Fren “yes, after all you is me sidechick, help me
out nah, the boss watching”… Police Fren bristled and replied frostily “ I am a
SideKICK , not chick” …which led Parking Meter Man to “ really you cud see the
future an’ ting? Well wha is the lotto numbers tomorrow?” …. Police Fren “I could see you getting in
trouble with the stooge you calling boss, Look Captin RubbishBim, if you don’t
move along I will arrest you for loitering, if you put the sign down to rest I
will arrest you for littering and as is you facing a whoring charge for
pandering to media!, so what will it be?”….the beleaguered Captin refused to
buckle under pressure and shouted back ‘you think that Skit is yuh boss? Or
Eyefah Cash? You think Skit working for a small time hustler Like Cash..no no…
the real Kingpin is …Shalom Bar Mitzvah or something’…”… both Police Fren and
Parking Meter man whirled to look askance of the chief stooge...but he had used
his not inconsiderable talent of vanishing in the face of real revelations.
It was at
this juncture that a further attack on our intrepid hero came from an unlikely
source, a stab in the back from a former champion of the people, now sadly
turned villain, the Dam Ass himself, it is said that he lost his mind by reading
the comments of his followers, only a dam ass would do something that stupid,
so now crazed by the ingested bile and fueled by fear of his horse losing
public favor, Dam Ass struck a back in time blow, dredging up statements made
by the Dusbim terrier years earlier in SUPPORT
of Paid Parking, Captin Dusbim attempted to make this contest a battle
of wits, however in such battles the unarmed rarely fare well, launching a
tirade that began with “ The Dam Ass has ‘rehearsed’ old claims against me…
obviously confusing to the intelligent who would have expected that a ‘law’
student would have used ‘rehashed’ instead, those who continued to listen or
read do have more patience with fools than is usually the case. Our hero having
emerged from the dust-up with the Dam Ass bloodied, refused to accept defeat,
an unlikely ally appeared in the form of
Comrade Red House who promised to Pause Paid Parking , however Captin
Dusbim rejected this alliance and instead forged one with the Teachers Marching
Band, oh they sung and danced in the street, they walked , they talked and then
they launched an assault on the feared master of Propaganda, the one, the only,
The Neemakaram himself, it did not go well, they stupidly lit candles when it
is obvious that they needed torches and pitchforks to drive this monster out,
so they gathered …the tension grew and then … the Neemakaram struck, he crept
into their midst, he sung their songs or resistance , he identified with them,
he too was against paid parking, but what could he, a mere Neemakaram do? ..,
poor Captin Dusbim and the Teacher’s Choir they ate the lotus and were lost.
Today they
all hustled to buy parking cards or parked miles away and trekked into town on
foot, their battle lost, not with a bang but with a song, the siren Song of the
Neemakaram.
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