Fok Spielin'

Fok Spielin' 

Idiots! Shouted the editor, idiots! , those in the newsroom who have grown used to the ranting of the lunatic looked away, but one, there always is one who encourages eh? one twit foolishly asked ‘what yuh talking ‘bout chief?” well that of course was the waving of the proverbial red flag at the bull, Our government is basing policy on the lowest common denominator, we are catering to idiots and arseholes, I never thought the day would come when we would have a Department of Party and we would dig up good roads to put medians to cater for skunthole drivers…what next are we going to do to cater to the idiots in our midst?”…of course the idiots had a List waiting….including the request for Shoe Shining and Windscreen Cleaning to become  CXC subjects, the abolition of grammar and ‘ Fok spielin’.

In odder news, big palaver broke out at the weekly cabinet meeting when Cde. Rolex attempted to assault the Minister of Wood Stans, “phase out who? who you think you is?” Rolex shouted while attempting to kick the shins of the goodly minister, after the old boy was restrained, the matter was quickly cleared up as it seems that Cde. Rolex had misread a statement by the young active minister with regard to the phasing out of fossil fuels at fucking GPL, it seems he fell asleep while reading and only got the bit about phasing out fossils…naturally the old boy felt aggrieved, as per norm in Guyana, once a misunderstanding has been created it acquired a life of its own and this led to vociferous condemnation of the hapless lad, despite many protestations from the minister that it was only fucking GPL he was referring to, he was accused of attempting to undermine confidence in the government and was told to stand in the corner with his face to the wall for the remainder of the meeting. A resolution was subsequently passed to establish a COI into his behavior and possible motives and a Department for the Protection of Fossils was established.

In related news the Minister of Stans was asked to fill in for PM Nahgamuchfado at a meeting in New Yark, he agreed but later that day had a massive dust-up with the head of the Department of Puri and Eggball, problem started when the DPI head visited the Minister with a tape measure and proceeded to try and take the measure of the man. The minister told the Dpi that “I is not that negroe in Django, no powder blue suit for me, keep dat for yuh flunkey boss” … the DPI retaliated by pulling the tape measure tighter in the crotch area, later when the suit was delivered the treachery was plainly revealed, said the minister “the only way I could wear this suit is if I stood with one hand up like the statue of liberty whilst simultaneously crouching like Quasimodo on the other side”…. Suitgate is a developing story and more to follow.

The minister of business stated that Guyana would soon begin the export of red herrings, ”we have turned up so many during the audits that we feel knews can begin export”  . The statement was immediately refuted by Cde. Rotee who said “dem does produce dem own pineapple too, why nat let dem export dat!”  

The Business Minister who got Tourism added to his portfolio of responsibilities also came in for some criticism from a group of concerned citizens who did not see the connection with business and tourism, this is a puzzling affair according to the minister of picking affairs, who supported his colleague by stating “ when you engaging in whoreism the first thing the girls or boys or transformers ask is if you doing business” , no one tried to correct the mustachioed gentleman.

Deputy Dusbim got into hot water with the city council as his recent behavior has been deemed anti-party, “it is not bad enough he is talking without permission, but now we hear he has rejected Grangers!, there are many things we do in this place but refusing to accept the odd Granger is not one of them and this man has reportedly been boasting of sending back 20 Grangers, unacceptable!” stormed the town clown Royskunt!


*There is a difference with fossil fuels and fossil fools ent?