Vacancy: Chairman of GECON

Vacancy: Chairman of GECON

The search is on folks! Good ol’ Stevo has signaled his intention to leave the Commission and the silly season is upon us, fastest out of the gate is Comrade Rotee who claimed a victory for his “Cheated not defeated’ movement, “is we who do it, the pressure of our weekly half hour protests have borne fruit” said the General Stalin Secretary of the People Picketing Purposefully (PPP) , when asked to comment on this Chairman Stevo replied “indeed, it was out of concern for the well being of the motley band of geriatrics that the PPP seemingly coerced out of the Palms to protest in the midday sun that led to my decision to retire, I do not want any deaths on my hands, plus I get more time to play tennis and cavort in my spacious backyard, to paraphrase Dave Martins ‘time for some other jackass to bat, this jackass finish with dat’ !”

Meanwhile, while somewhat slow to react to anything, much less this bombshell announcement, the Party Not Country leader had no comment other than “we shall see, I expect we have a retired Colonel or two about that could manage the commission”

Guysnooze is pleased to bring you the leaked documents from BOTH major parties outlining key requirements for the soon to be vacant position.

PPP Requirements	PNC Requirements
Dark skin Indo	Light skin Afro
Admirer of Comrade Cheddi	Admirer of Comrade Burnham
Civilian	Former GDF
Must secretly favor PPP	Must secretly favor PNC
Lawyer or Doctor	Colonel or higher rank
Must speak ‘Luncheonese”	Must Speak ‘Kuffuflese’
Age 70+	Age 70+
No thinking outside the box	No thinking outside the box
Thick skin to tek buse if we lose	Thick skin to tek buse if we lose
Nominee #1: Dr. Dave Dabbledeen	Nominee #1:GDF (Rtd.) Riggor Ganizer

In the end the PPP will not have sway in the naming of the next commissioner and whomever gets the job will no doubt have to live with the fear of Picketing Pensioners Perishing in the midday sun.

“be careful what you wish for, you just might get it.”

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Guysnooze exclusive undercover report

Dr. Naughty passes anti-corruption polygraph with flying colors!!!!

Guysnooze is once again leading the field in exclusive news, our intrepid reporter went undercover and was able to obtain the secret transcript of the polygraph test of Dr. Naughty , word is the test was done hours before the Party Not Country’s (PNC) grand congress titled ‘ A Green Guava Economy”  held in August.

Transcript of the Lie Detector Test administered to Dr. Naughty

Examiner: your name is Naughty?

Dr. N: by name and nature.

Examiner: Please answer yes or no

Dr. N: okay.

Examiner: Is your name Naughty?

Dr N: yes, since I know myself.

Examiner: Were you born in Monkey Mountain?

Dr. N: No, my father was not a policeman. 

Examiner: Did you rent a bond for an exorbitant sum?

Dr. N: No

Examiner: Did you profit from the rental of a bond?

Dr. N: No

Examiner: Are you a Minister of Government?

Dr. N: Yes, by the grace of Allah the merciful.

Examiner: Did you get a kickback from the rental of a bond?

Dr. N: No

Examiner: thank you for your time Sir.

Examiner’s report

The subject answered all questions truthfully, I have no hesitation in saying the Minister did not profit from rental of a Bond.

The results were distributed to all members of the executive who were impressed save and except one wag who remarked “of course he pass dis, dem shoulda ask he if he profit from the rental of an office building, the man din rent no bond”.