Protective Custody
“Two more in protective custody” bellowed the editor, “who
the rass wukking on this story, I am getting my news from something called the
telephone instead of highly paid reporters, which cannot be right!” … “define
highly paid boss” “yeah, what he said”… “shut up! And go find out what going on
in the real word”…. Shouted the editor, ever fearful that the reporters would
unionize, the very thought of Linkup Lewis makes him nervous “I have a report
that two more sexy women are in custody for dancing provocatively in front of
cheering spectators and collecting cash after” “but boss, Rio close down” …”Rio
mih skunt, leff that for the sports reporter, leh he worry ‘bout Zika and if
Usain Bolt foot got corn, is GT I dealing wid, these girls was dancing for the
Pope during church service on sunday, I hear they put down a solid wine, dem
mek it rain inside the church, then the police hold dem for TIP, and put dem in
protective custody”… “TIP? How you could traffic in pokey in church, the police
mad!” shouted the fat reporter… “wait…TIP is not Teeny Intsy Panty?” asked the
editor…. “well boss, whatever it is, I
know that protective custody in GT means dat dem Goons Pon Fleek (GPF) will
murder dem gyal wid fuck”…said the skinny jeans reporter… “but is protective
custody, not regular lockup, bannas” replied the editor… “yes, protective, dat
means the GPF will use condoms will sharing the licks, and since is a safe
house, nice bed and jumbo mattress fuh romp on, is like a paid holiday camp for
perverts”… “but sor, I see a video wid four gyal putting down a wuk, how come
only two get hold?” asked the fat reporter… “you see the other two, dem like
advertising for hefty garbage bag, which magistrate would believe dem is
dancers for money”…. Replied the editor “but dis Pope doh… he showing promise,
how much fuh join he church again? Milk and soap? Lil freck in the basket? …
where dem located again??” …said the fat reporter “yuh think they got pinetart
an’ cheeseroll?”.
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
In other news the Pokeymon Go craze hit Guyana, however due
to poor app design, many applicants ended up in duke street applying for visas
to go catch Pikachoo in Cornhole, New Mexico, one poor woman ended up in divorce court as
she explained… “I told my ‘usband dat I was going to play pokeymon and ‘e get
vex and box mih ears, he say the pokey is he own alone, no mon go play wid it
except ‘e” …various reports suggest that many dangles are luring unsuspecting
males into relationships by having them pet a real furry pokeymon.
……………………………
There has been an explosion of media wars in GT, I-news vs U-news
so to speak, the Empress of the dammed, Auntie Most Lee left peacefully for China
ostensibly for ‘media training’ …we at Guysnooze must say we were suplized at
dis move, the professionalism of Gordo has been exemplary and one could find no
fault….well until the Chinese training kicked in, in a feral blast of hot air
and speculation, his highness ‘outed’ three persons as ‘admins’ of the Deh Pon
Skunt FB page, this was in retaliation for DPS captioning a picture of him in a
dress implying he was being anti-manish, we would refer the dam man to the
ruling of the former acting chief justice which stated that it is ok to cross
dress once it is not for immoral purpose, chill pill needed, unless this is
some kind of Kung-Pow media move he has picked up in China.
………………………………………………………………
Media Release
We the executive of Punch Only Talking Sense (POTS) would
like to point out that our anti-suicide program is not for public consumption
and is only for use of those contemplating ending their lives prematurely ,
therefore we are not concerned by the other POTS (Persad Only Talking Skunt)
who are trying to hang onto the coattails of our famous leader, we do thank Per-so-sad
for highlighting our organization as have the BBC, we are famous for being
famous, our work or lack of thereof is not an issue, our Public relations
officer Mr. Fucktardo McBeen will not be responding to any more questions
..ever!
Thank you
Condee Rice (co-chairman)
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Word of the week ; Fucktard
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