Guyana Issues Travel Advisories!!!

Guyana Issues Travel Advisories!!!

Dear Citizens,

As you know previous administrations have never issued travel advisories to our citizens as they figured “what place could be worse than here’, of course now that we are an oil rich fiefdom, this has changed and we wish to advise on the following when traveling overseas.

USA

1.       Black lives seem to matter or not matter depending on whom you talk to, we are advising ALL of our citizens, that despite your divisions at home , we all black when overseas.

2.       Talking anyhow to po-po is a no-no for you skunt, lef’ dat for the homies ova there, do not call the men Pig , do not use the word fuck.

3.       Your ideal response to a challenge by an officer of the law is to assume the position with hands in the air, say clearly “ good day/night officer, the marijuana in my left back pocket is for my sainted grandmother who is partially blind in the right eye”

4.       Do not speak in an “American’ accent. Nobody likes that shit.

5.       Avoid dramatics at all cost.

6.       Do not pet the Gators,dem does bite hot hot,

7.       Zika , Chickengunya are available free, not all freeness is good.

8.       Avoid being shot by crazy non-islamists terrorists by avoiding gay bars, malls, beaches, cinemas, churches and open spaces. Happy Holidays.

UK

1.       Brexit as soon as possible.

2.       Avoid talking to Scottish prats named Nicola.

Canada

·         Please take warm clothing when visiting ‘Snow Mexico’

Caricom Countries

·         A seat cushion is a good idea, the benches are hard

·         A tube of lube is a good idea in case you are fingered for fingering.