Weapons Amnesty Report

Weapons Amnesty Report

Guysnooze reporters were out in the field today to monitor the progress of the highly touted “Weapons Amnesty Program” , we report on the successes and , well not really failures, more a failure to communicate exactly what is meant by “Weapon”  

Weapon Amnesty program: Day One

9AM: Drunk anti-man tries to get amnesty for his “iron”, claims it is a weapon of ass destruction.

10 AM : Former Minister turns in a goat found in his backyard, no explanation needed or given.

11 AM: Two men drag in “Slingshot” Drepaul , says he assaulted their ears.

12 Noon: Mrs. Singh turns in her husband, says he is engaging in “gas warfare”.

1 PM: GDF turn in couple buckets of bullets, says they do not anticipate ever needing them.

2 PM: Local writer turns in his pen , claims it is poisoned and that he is a mercenary assassin, ranks assist the deranged man out of the door with a few swift kicks to the posterior.

3 PM: Gun toting citizen turns in 45 minibuses and drivers, says they have killed more people than guns.

4 PM: Sean Hinds turns in his collection of toy guns.

5 PM: Leader of the opposition turns in Africo, says she was a PNC secret weapon, “The Blight is real”he said, before depositing her on a bench in the back of the station. 

*Editor's Note: 1000 plus bullets off the streets is a good thing.