Social Cohesion, Unity and Normalization Talks

 Social Cohesion, Unity and Normalization Talks

Guysnooze reports today from the wonderful initiative of the glorious new government of the republic to have Social Cohesion, Unity and Normalization Talks with opposition members and other parties who have “hate” issues, “we want to interact with the haters, so we decided to do SCUNT as a means of breaking the ice” said the PM upon announcing the conference, actually this was what the Minister of the President said that the PM said to him upon being told there would be a conference. Well it sure sounds like the SCUNT is going to go like the name suggests, the Guysnooze editor was able to wrangle a seat at the table because he is a well known hater, he reports….

The conference began sharply at 10 AM at the David Arthur Chung Conference Center, the chairman of the SCUNT initiative addressed us all:

Chairman PM: As a Judicial Officer, Prime Minister, Weekend President and all around juk-about, I welcome you haterz to the first round of SCUNT, I will read the names of the eenvited attendees and state the main hatred they have so that we may help our brothers and sisters to heal; …Freddy : You may think he is here because he hates Indians, but he has a greater hate, journalistic integrity! , yuh know, where you have to use actual sources and not jus’ mek shit up an’ seh “a man tell me suh an’ suh”…Benkark: again you would think that he hates Indians, not so! He hates Jumbies! Doan laff, all abby gat prablems… GECON Chairman: who hates reporters who ask asinine questions repeatedly ….Ajay B: Hates Blackout…. Ahm, we are going to ask this gentleman to leave, his presence alone causes blackout, one time I only chattin wid the man pun the facebook and baddam!, abby transfarmer blow!,Minister Am No Ally: who hates not knowing what her job title means…Mayor Glean: who hates clean… KrisRom: who hates former presidents…Former President Jaggy: who hates KrisRom… Cricketer Channerpal : who hates lines and questions from Immigration Officers And last but not least the editor of Guysnooze, who hates smooth road, sirens, gas in the president tank, the tax man, bai, is anybody or anything you doan hate? Doan answer, I now yuh hate questions …

PM: Now you people can have a seat…..hey! Jaggy nat there , duh is me seat yuh coolie bully, yuh feel me is dem blackman yuh could shove oneside?  Siddung nex’ to KrisRom. This canfrence mus’ end in resolution to all hate so I have decided we gon talk nuff ,SCUNT is all about talk, but if dat doan work, I got the pandit outside wid nuff tequila and cigarettes fuh “jaray” the hate outta ya’ll.

Guysnooze Editor: Honorable Excellency Prime Minister, I congratulate you on having this SCUNT initiative and feel it has worked wonders for my perspective, I realize how petty I have been, please turn on yuh siren in abby street at anytime, I am cured, one love all, peace out! 

*editors note: I was not sticking around fuh the inevitable “jaray” session, but having left one of our secret recording devices inside, will get the 411 to reader’s at a later date.