Great Plot Foilers
Who is covering the assassination plot? Shouted the editor… “ahm..chief…nobody
ent tek the ting serious, we figured was some distraction or excuse to spend mo’
money on the Dog and Pony security service plan wha’ Rumjatan selling…why? Sumting
happen?” replied the sandwich girl female reporter … “well they arrest
ah old man and the crime chief called a big press conference for 4 PM today,
one of ya’ll who ent too busy doing nuttin’ need to cover it … I still on
vacation”
Great Plot Foilers (GPF) Presser
Crime Chief: ladies and gentlemen of the press, we of the
GPF are proud to stand here today and say we have foiled the dastardly plot to assassinate
El president and other members of cabinet! …that’s right, we will allow
questions later but I owe it to the members of the force to outline the brilliant
work they did to catch the assassins! ..yes, the leader is in custody and the
intellectual authors are known to us and wanted bulletins have been issued on Interpol
for them, now, it all began two weeks ago with an intercepted communication
with a cryptic reference to an assassin that had the Jefe in his crosshairs,
all that was said that about him was that he was ‘unstoppable’ and had never failed
to kill a target! … this led to us putting all hands on deck and opening the
largest investigation of any kind in Guyana, this was not going to be like when
Minister Pogwolly Facebook got ‘hacked’ ..we went full gonzo on this bitch!
..within days we learned the assassin had a fatal flaw, he was known to be
impatient ‘he would wait for no man’ was how he was described by the other
plotters, after widening the surveillance net we were able to learn he was an ‘illusion’
and then the final bit we needed ‘he was longer than twine’ …and with that I
present you with our suspected Assassin… FATHER TIME…. Gaze at this stone
killer ladies and gentlemen, do not be deceived by his saintly appearance, he
has more kills than all the wars and strife combined, wanted bulletins have
been issued for accomplices Cardiovascular Disease, Diabetes aka Sugar and
Penile Erectile Dysfunction, a search is on for the weapons cache of fatty
Foods and Likker.
And now for your questions…..
Editor’s Note *Are you distracted enough?
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