It Is Time for Guysnooze
Yes, folks er…. Ehmm …. fellow jaguars… it is time for guysnooze to report on the state of the campaigns, strateegery and shenanigans.
It would appear that the main issue for the upcoming election is the ownership of the “Itistime” brand. What’s in a slogan, who coined it, who owns it, what does it mean, why is a Trini singin’ it? Plenty questions about this “itistime” ting, well the story lang lang.
A Promissory Note Unfulfilled and Another Father Christmas (APNU+AFC) parties have claimed to have invented the slogan, chief cook and bottle washer Cricketman stated he was the inventor of the slogan after years of working with the waste Indies bored, Kon stated “ IT IS TIME the intellectually bankrupt Waste Indies Bored is removed from cricket, having demonstrated incapacity and rank incompetence in managing the affairs of the game.” A quick edit led to insertion of PPP in place of the beleaguered board.
The Perpetrator of the Purple Punk Conspiracy group however launched its party song and Lo and behold! IT Is Time for them too! Many liked the song but asked why a trini did the singing and surely a Guyanese was good enough to do it instead, the following explanation was offered by Minister of PYO Infant Oily.
Infant Oily: We did ask a few Guyanese artistes to do versions of our campaign song, but many had difficulty remembering the lyric, Jumbo for example kept singing “it is time to wine yuh rubber waist” , Shenny B keep singing in a Jamaican accent and halfway through she threatened international rapper Two Bob singing “it is time somebody blow you so hard dat heads turn brains” so we had to discard that choice, so we though it best to give it to a Trini, we are happy with the way it turned out and dat is dat!
So the entire “itistime” campaign is now in a mess, it is time for change has become it is time for same.
The Aforementioned Promissory Note Unsigned party leader met with businessmen and unveiled his Jaguar theory to the confusion of the sheepish audience, many were alarmed at the thought of Jaguars in the midst and became distinctly uncomfortable, in his thank you speech veep of the group outlined his abhorrence of categorization of individuals as animals and urged people to remain calm and note that the old saying jaguars cannot change their spots cannot apply since David and Moses are old jaguars and have overcome decades of prejudice to make nice for benefit of glorious nation of Guyana.
In another hot button issue the size of the former President’s house has come under scrutiny, the quote “Cadillac living in donkey cart economy” has been touted by opposition spinners, however Gt’s Pensionaire countered that CBJ did indeed inherit a Donkey cart economy but it has now been transformed to at least land cruiser status, he ended by sayin’ “the size of my thing does really bother people, pension… house…. nex’ ting they gon wan see mih loley” He was advised by senior reporters to ‘keep it in yuh pants comrade” .
Cde. Greenshirt was today accused of being racial in his objection to Seeall as COP, he answered by sayin’ “not at all, I have plenty Indian frens…whe Moses gane?, bring he back in the room” when pressed as to the reasons for his objections, he said “everything other than race” …seems legit!
Cde. Shortknee vehicle crash again, it was plenty confusion, to add to the mayhem popular GT person Jingle Jansham was seen “assisting” the minister, #feelup , the minister was heard to angrily declare, nothing in mih pants ent break, stop checkin’ fuh damage!
Guysnooze ends the report on a somber note, a sincere wish that our frequent adversary Mr. Courtney Crum-Ewing finds eternal peace in the afterlife, we urge all who can to contribute to the Education Fund set up for his children by Attorney Nigel Hughes.
Credit Account #50598410 N/O REPUBLIC BANK (GUYANA) LIMITED (further details can be had from Mr.Hughes.)
Freedom of Speech is NOT Optional!
